This is completely off the subject, but it is a subject I love. I am talking about thread titles. I love reading them and we all know how to work them to get attention to our sitchs. In fact, I had just started a new thread right before MB went down because I could no longer edit mine. Of course, the stupid part is that once MB came back on....I still couldn't edit mine. It still aggivates me. So, I have to ask if I am the only one who does this.

When you read one of the title's, depending on your mood, do you find yourself answering the title??? I do this ALL the time....here are some I have come up with....

Should I have contacted OW?......only if you tarred and feathered her

New and need advice.....honey, don't we all

Reality check-How do you handle a cake-eater?.....quit baking the cakes

The rules of plan A-anyone want to play??....no I don't, but then my WS forgot to ask me

Any then there is my all time favorite....

Intimate with husband day before cruise with OW???....try going on a cruise with husband when day before they had contact....ouch...


I am not meaning to hurt anyones feelings, but dont you just sometime have some kind of comeback to these questions???? Seriously, my own comebacks have made me laugh at times, and these days sometimes that's all I really need....keep up the good titles guys.....

not2fun

There's a topic here in GQ2 titled 'Lust & Masterbation - Hurts Like Hell!'.

I keep thinking that lube might help with that.

LOL! I was thinking the same thing on this one...

OMG---ME, TOO...ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!

Well....my brain must have been asleep on that one....dang....

but thanks for the laugh.....LOL....

here's another....

Last chance to come clean....why?? Are your showers broken???

Ditto! LOL!!!

Well, I was thinking they must be into pain....if it hurts, I'm not doing it.....why would you advertise it?

So, if it hurts, STOP!

Those were my thoughts.

Hahahahaha!!! Funny stuff!

One of my all time favorites was "Shaden's Log"...No comeback really, I just couldn't understand why he wanted to discuss his bathroom habits here!

Mrs. W

I still haven't clicked on that feminine hygiene products aisle thread yet for fear of the dreaded price check.

Any title with 'unique situation" makes me chuckle

I never opened IDIOTVILLE, because I assumed that's where all the waywards go...

I have the great Pepperband to thank for that title, the last of many title changes she made to the original thread as the conversation meandered around from topic to topic. This final one was given after I made a joke about Neak (my daughter) asking me to add feminine hygiene products for her to my shopping list, when she was UNFORTUNATELY unable to reach me by phone before I left for the store, and make her wishes known privately. She also requested some prophylactics (I must've accidentally gotten some amateur-phylactics instead becase she became pregnant shortly afterwards and didn't need any of the stuff that prompted the title change)...but the thread continued to be called by its new name until the chance to change it had passed, and we were stuck. I was just glad Pep hadn't choosen Prophylactic Paradise, or something like that!

You've got to admit there isn't a lot of competition on MB to fill that particular conversational niche!

The thread that shall live in infamy .....

I'm thinking in-famy is better than no-kind-of-famy at all! Even after the upgrade, when we let the original thread, with The Sad Saga of OtherSusan the Stupid, drift into well-deserved obscurity, we deliberately kept the title so we wouldn't feel lost, booted out of our happy little comfort zone.
I love that title. After all these years, it still cracks me up every time I see it.

Have ya'll seen the new commercials for the his and hers KY jelly.

would be a nice topic for that thread

Crazy Ladies!!

I love the word infidelity misspelled in thread titles

I am evil

INFIDILITY is my favorite

There was one thread titled "How can I tell if they're lying?" or something like that, and every time I saw it (assuming it is about a WS) I thought "because their lips are moving."

Here's another....

What drew you to Marriagebuilders???.....uhmmmm ws affair, duh

What drew you to Marriagebuilders??....are you kidding, I came kicking and screaming

AMEN TO THAT ONE BROTHER........

What is the best way to expose?

..... open your raincoat !

That was toooooo funny, c00per!

That was EXACTLY my thought Cooper!

HTM

Here's my first post from that thread...

ohhhhh....I love that one Cooper....

Here another...

Is there any hope??....not today, ask me tomorrow

I think we need more funny threads!!!

Laughter is good for you!

Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It was a hard day at work and I needed some laughter!

Glad to oblidge, cinders....

Here's another.....

"What qualities do you look for in a potential spouse?".....try one that is NOT an adulterer.....ps you do know this is a marriage building site, dealing with lots of infidility???

I so wish I would have started this sooner, because there were so many in the past and now I find myself going back looking for them and others....here's one I found....

"To expose or not to expose"....depends on if you are looking for free room and board....

Got a new one folks....


"Recovery......NOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!"... are you calling me???

Sorry but EVERY time I see this post, I think it is about me.....imagine my embarrassement when I opened it for the first time and discovered it wasn't about me.....MAN I am such a first born......

so its all about you eh?...you sound just like the alien who took possesion of my wifes body for the last 8 months!

Fortunatly that is all over.

N2F,

my very first thread here was titled "I think I've done everything wrong"... Man I'm such a middle child...

How about a thread, "I can do no wrong." - Boy I'm such a baby of the family.

Been there, done that...

Went on a cruise for my STBX Brother in law's wedding.

Yep, WTBX was cranky and miserable the whole time. Picked fights, had headaches, would spend time online on the ship. He did have his husbandly moments... plenty of SF, hand holding, dinners, laughing etc.

Came home from cruise (late at night) went to bed. Next day, we went out, shopping, and to visit my family. STBX was on his cell phone the whole drive... when we got to my sister's, he told me he would be in the house in a second, would just finish chatting on phone. 20 minutes later... guess who walks in?

We go home, and he picks another fight... this one was really dramatic on his part. Up and leaves. Never did come home. So, here we are, 16 months later... yep, he is miserable, I am not. Poor guy.

OF COURSE ITS ALL ABOUT ME......


and if I weren't so good natured, I'd be insulted by the second part, seeing as though I am the BS....lol....BUT hey, the "all about me" alien doesn't discriminate, they go for the men as well.....'


not2fun

that is funny TTT.....the funniest (or maybe ironic) part is that when we were in pre-marital counseling (required), the pastor told my parents that we probably shouldn't get married because WS and I are both first borns and according to research first borns should not marry because they can be so selfish......touche'

Ms. Manners.....ouch....yep I know what you mean by BTDT. Though I have to say our cruise sounds like it went better than yours....ummmmm, maybe anyway (It probably helped that when I found out on the cruise that they had been emailing each other....I forwarded the emails to her H, let HIM know what was going on....). All I do know is that AFFAIRS SUCK...

N2F, comparing you to a wayward! what the heck was I thinking! soory!

p.s. I canNOT believe you have not added "I think my WW is witholding sex" to this list yet.

Apology accepted....


"I think my WW is withholding sex"......YOu think or YOu know???


not2fun

"Is my WW acting normal for a WW".....NORMAL??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? WHAT IS NORMAL???? You have to have been a WS to TRULY know what WS N0RMALITY IS...


"Is my WW acting normal for a WW".....nope, she's what we like to call "unique".....lol.......


not2fun

"WW and I broke NC last night".....ARE YOU CRAZY????

I was thinking...From who?

hey, it got a laugh out of me......


not2fun

ok a few more for today and then I HAVE to get on my housework......


"What to expect when your not expecting????"....no morning sickness, no swollen cankles, no heartburn, no swollen breasts, no hemorroids.....oh wait, this isn't a response to the book "What to Expect When Your Expecting"????


"What to expect when your not expecting"......you can expect that your expectations will not be expected to be fullfilled, but expect that your WS will expect you to expect that your .......oh never mind.....



"Husband wants me to CHEAT??????"......on your taxes????? on your homework??? on the company softball game????


"BH tries to sell WW on Ebay".......nothing funny, it just made me laugh all day.....


and last but not least.......


"The MB Science Lab"......does it perform full labotomies on all WS????? Do they come out like the "Stepford Wives"????? Is this the place where BS can take OP and do "experiments"?????......


SHOW'S OVER FOLKS.....HAVE A SAFE DRIVE HOME........

not2fun

There are some doozies, but I am often disappointed when I see the same 5 or 6 topics at the top of the list every friggin day!

Not that there's anything wrong with those topics, but I'd have to sit and read for an hour to jump into those monsters!

Krazy,


Like this??????........lol....

not2fun

Well I have some new ones that have been rolling around in my noodle....

"Can I trust my insticts NOW???"....How bout now??? Now??? How bout now??/....everytime I see this it reminds me of those cellphone commercials "Can you hear me Now????"

"Neak turns 36 today. What is mama gonna give her??"....a spanking......


there's a few more, but they are from newbies, and I'm not sure if it would be right to this to them when they are still so new here....

not2fun

LOL!! Yeah, not2, I think I know which ones. I was just thinking about this thread last night because of those.

Charlotte

Haha that cracked me up. Good one

I googled Not2fun today and guess what came up??? Yep this thread..(oh and the "National Pick on Not Day" too... :RollieEyes:...

Anyway, I haven't posted anything on here in longggggg while and I thought we could all use a laugh today...so......

"Barely holding it together"......better try harder, there's a strong wind a brewin...

"Is this normal for early recovery?"....define "normal"...we are dealing with affairs and waywards...NOTHING IS NORMAL...

"hmmmmmm....".....

"Why does the WS get to decide??"....because they are ENTITLED to, don't ya know???....

and last but not least and my personal favorite lately....

"Pulling up my big-girl panties....".....are they the "grannie" panties or the g-string kind???.....

to which I did post this on the tread and the reply I got was...

"Well, not the grannie panties if I want to save my marriage...."...

not2fun

ok...a couple more....

"You are were right..."....of course we were, we always are don't ya know??/


"Load my lips with expert advise please..."....Botox anyone???

"Wife doesn't feel anything for me..."....then pinch her, betcha she feels that....

She probably would've liked that better than what I DID give her, which was a trip to the gynecologist to see if she needed a hysterectomy. Once you've done that, what is there left to give?

tl

I got one!!

"Differences between WH's & WW's"

You mean besides the obvious?



Charlotte

*snicker*

"H with self destructive behavior - help"


Okay - I'll hand him a nerf bat

only if you stop hitting them

OMG, I remember this thread. Someone made a comment about the same few threads always being at the top. I felt sooooo guilty!

what about 'looking for advice'...isn't that why you come to a discussion board? or aren't we all...

another: 'she loves me but is not in love with me'...If the sidebar on the right was a black mamba, you would be dead. Or do you homework before asking stupid questions...

"Dating People"

...as opposed to dating animals? vegetables? Just how scarred are we BS's on this board?

Here's a delightful one I see on the recovery forum

"Missing OM - please help"

Ummmmmmmmmmm .... a GPS maybe? How about smoke signals? Amber alert? File a missing person report with the nearest OP locator service?

LOL Pep, that WAS what I thought at first..could only read the first part of the title on the sidebar.

Then when I read the thread I felt like puking. I can't even respond to that nonsense.

Maybe they need a better gun. If they are missing him, maybe their gun isn't shooting straight.

I must be slipping.... Why didn't I think of a gun?

Well, it's the only thing I could think of about why I would miss an OP.

I'm either not quite close enough or my gun is off. Lord knows they are a big enough target.

I can't believe there is a thread for this because this one came up several times yesterday:

"To Wives: Why is sex so important? (article)".

Everytime I saw it I thought...
'Duuuuhhhh!'
'It feels good.'
'Because it's what I want.'
'You don't know?'
'Because the human race would be gone without it.'
'Is this a trick question?'
and a myriad of others.

Turns out the title was supposed to be in the voice of a man telling a wife why it's important. It was a rhetorical question. Not actually asking for an answer. I wanted to respond with a kind of smart-alecky post but it wasn't appropriate. Hope it's okay here instead.

My first thought for that one? Thinking I was going to see a picture of POSOM on the side of a milk carton.

The post named : "how do I work plan A if she leaves when I expose"
Although the thread it's self is quite serious in nature, I could help but think....

"Quit wagging it at her, and close your towel!"

Sorry, sick, I know!

SDW

The thread title "What are your plans for VD Day" (something like that)...VD Day? Is that a special occassion now?

Another sickie, I know. Flog me.

Rofl, I STILL remember those ginormous tampons. Yes, once in a great while the subject of Feminine Hygiene Products does actually come up on the thread. Rarely, but it does happen.

If you can't make fun of the thread titles of actual newbies, you can always pick on former newbies. For example, one member I know titled her first thread something like,

"How Do I Know If He's a Cake-eater?"

I can think of a few answers for THAT one. (I think her name is "Jennifer" or something.)

"How Do I Know If He's a Cake-eater?"


* If he promises to leave and then doesn't, he might be a cake-eater.

* If he says he doesn't love you "that way" any more but still wants you to fix him supper, he might be a cake-eater.

* If he gets angry when you're upset about him rutting with the OW, then turns around and accuses you of cheating on him, he might be a cake-eater.

* If he sleeps with you and later claims it's just pity, he might be a cake-eater.

* If he can't remember whether it was you or the OW who invited him to lunch, he might be a cake-eater.

* If he holds your hand on one side and texts the OW on the other, he might be a cake-eater.

* If he won't make a decision because he "doesn't want to hurt anyone", he might be a cake-eater.

* If the OW gets mad because he's taking so long to file for D, he might be a cake-eater.

* If the OW gets mad because he's taking so long to file for D, and he tells her it's so the kids have more time to get used to the idea, he might be a cake-eater.

* And finally, if he's committing adultery, he just might be a cake-eater.

I have been laughing so HARD with a queasy tummy all morning and you guys made me
missed the bucket by that : : much

Hi Black Raven, I am the poster for VD -- It used to be Valentine's Day -- till this year...
and I hope my H gets VD on VD from that "special" OW

Just found wife gets naked on cam when I work late

Who is cam?

Is there a grown up in your house, young lady???

Pep, Pep, Pep

The poor man is NEW here. Unfortunately, my first thought was ooooooh, that's a goodie for the thread title thread.

Very lost and need some advice!

ON STAR CAN HELP!!

I
Does that make me a bad girl?

When he wasn't being grouchy, he was being the "husband" I knew. He did have some "internet time" and sudden headaches that caused him to go to the cabin early. Meh. Turns out he was a waste anyway.

bumping for anyone needing a laugh.....

not2fun

ps..and with that I am off to bed...good night all.....

Quote

Do I tell her that I exposed?

Ummmmm Were you arrested and charged?

Sorry, couldn't help myself.
It's all that mistletoe I've been smokin'

Am I being cake eaten?

How about a little pie with that?????

Everytime I read that, it just sounds so...wrong.

Maybe it was a freudian strip? DUDE

I'm jus sayin' SOME THINGS are better left underexposed. Like me in a bathing suit!

It's better to over expose and under develop...

Wait! That applies to black and white film...

Got any of that mistletoe left?

Roll one up...

:HappyHolidays:

I just can't pass this one up.....

"Spiritually Cheating"........ , do you think God knows??.....maybe someone should expose to Him

not2fun

"She may never reveal him" - Well, I certainly don't want to see it if she does.

Okay, the "Sex..sex..sex" one has got me. I havent read the thread yet but....since I am getting "None..none..none" its slaps me in the face everytime I see it. Esp. knowing that WH is getting all he wants from someone else now.

My first thoughts when I read this one ... It sounds like advertising for one of the "Gentlemen's Club" on the wrong side of the tracks ...

ewwwwwwwwww

I'm bad, I know that already.
This one is~~~> thread title combined with the poster's name....

......

Pep, you've been letting your mind go run-shack in retirement.......

not2fun

"Tiger's Mistress Wants an Apology"........1.)Yeah, well I want a bazillion dollars

2.) from the makers of Aqua Net. Seems to much use can befuddle the brain.....

Ok, this is kinda icky HOWEVER I couldn't help but giggle when I first saw it....


"Best VD....sort of...."...... ..can't say I've ever heard anyone saying "best" about VD.....

not2fun

ps...Sorry jayne, but ya set yourself up for it.....

I knew that this thread was out there, so I tried to make my thread title innocuous. I chose the phrase that I've been using with WW and the kids to keep track of which house was which...

But now all I can hear in my head is (with apologies to the Talking Heads):

"Our house, in the middle of our street...
Her house, where she goes to sleep..."

Depending on my mood, I sometimes replace the 2nd line with "...where they go to meet..." although I have no proof that OM's been there...

On Sunday night, when DD14 went over to get her fingernails and toenails done, the 2nd line was..."...where she plays with feet..."

Please refrain from future innocuousness.
It's one of our sources of entertainment.
Don't mess with the system.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I always thought of this as a song by 'Madness', but after googling, I did see 'The Talking Heads' listed. Wow, TB has learned something new. Good for me!

TB

lol I'm glad I'm not the only one.

And the Best VD award goes to....

Love the title.

Those were funny.....I can't say I thought of that song when I saw your thread, but NOW I do....


I worried about this when I started this thread, but the laugh factor is why I started it anyway. With what this forum deals with, everyone can use a good laugh from time to time......

And thread titles were important to me when I was in Plan A. I changed mine like Pep changes her siggy line. It let everyone know what I was dealing with/going through at the time.....

not2fun

For anyone needing a laugh.....to which, where is the creativity people????? The hasn't been enough inspiration to add to this lately........

Not

You trying to get your post count up Not, or pushing something down the page?

One that keeps catching my eye:
'HE is agreeing to everything... what does it mean?'
- Write a REALLY big list, and and see if gifting me a diamond necklace is out of the question

Easy, use a sledge hammer.

You lack problems with sex?
Congratulations!

Nice stuff!

The 2012 Annual MB Bathing Beauty Contest


ended in a five-way tie!

NG - did you intend to post this to the thread entitled "Nice stuff"?

If not - I don't get it.

The idea behind this thread, evidently, is that we are to explain what we originally thought the thread was going to be about on first reading the title.

Oh, I get it now!

Duh.

How about "Melody - smoking" bringing to mind a certain colleague wearing some daring party attire?

Like this??

Question, from PrayingIncessantly):

Answer, from every male on MB:

I agree. I would only add one line: "Now get up and make me a sandwich!"

MB, so instead of my allusion to my peacefully expiring after one final, tumultuous, satisfying, love-making with my bride, you'd instead suggest a more fitting end would be she "rat poison" my peanut-butter and jelly?

Ouch!

Oh, goodness, NO, NG! Not for a moment! I was just saying that you should get your butt up and slap a Dagwood together for your depleted wife after a marathon session like that! Prior to your expiration, of course. And I would hope that you would be considerate enough to shuffle off this mortal coil AFTER she's finished her post-coital repast.

NG, my thought is much simpler... guess I'm just a simple fella.

"Where will you be in life before you die?"



Um... at the end?

"What's for dinner?"


Why? Are you going to show up? And how the heck did you get my RL name and address... you internet stalker (I think I'm going to end up as somebody's human purse... *shudder*).

"Trying to move forward"

I find this easy to do when I place one foot in front of another.

"First and foremost!"


One should wear pants when addressing the public!


"The best defense is a good offense"


... so I have decided to cease showering!


"Wife won't open up and tell me how she feels"


... about these FABULOUS curtains I want to have installed!

Thread title is:
My first thoughts:

1. FORGET THE PAST (2 choices)
A lobotomy or Alzheimer's disease, your choice.

2. MOVE ON
By living one more day.

...or maybe its Volvo? All them furrin cars look the same!