I'm at home today nursing a cold and a very sore back (not directly related, but I hope they both clear up soon). Not that it really matters, since I work out of my home office.

Anyway, since I am alone in the house, I frequently leave the TV on as an "electronic fireplace" to provide sparkling colors and "crackling" noises. I don't usually watch the thing, or if I do, it's only with one eye.

(On the positive side, today TCM has been airing "A Day at the Races," which gives inspiration to this thread's title).

One thing that has been bothering me for days now is the plethora of movies that are about affairs, in one way or the other. It seems that not a day goes by when there isn't a movie on one of the cable channels where the plot or subplot is about someone having an affair.

Today has been blessedly free of this type of movie, but I notice this evening there is a movie airing called, "Something to Talk About" starring Julia Roberts, Dennis Quaid and Robert Duvall. Yep, it's about an unfaithful man...

Of course, a few months ago this wouldn't have registered with me. But now it's a bit of a trigger. Well, maybe not so much a trigger as a PTSD "moment," if you will.

Is it me? Or has Hollywood just embraced the idea that infidelity is a "good story line?" In many cases, it seems this whole idea is romanticized to the point where the affairees are depicted as "star-crossed lovers," or that theirs is a "true love" whereas the marriage is empty, abusive or somehow wanting.

Anyway, this is just a bit of a rant. I thought of adding to this thread a daily list of the "affair movies" I see listed on the channel guide, but I'm going to be traveling a bit for business in the near future, so that may not be possible (or desirable, even).

It's pretty much always been this way.

I think infidelity opens our eyes to it, because it has always been there, we just didn't notice. An example is I used to love the musical Moulin Rouge and watched it on average every 2nd month or so. I haven't watched it in 2 years now because of the deception it is based around

Heck I can no longer even listen to some songs I used to love because with my new improved A-vision I can 'see' them for the revolting pig swill they are.

The problem with most of the affairs in movies is, like other plot themes, they are unrealistic. They are from the perspective of what people want to believe it would be like, beginning with no consequences.

"Something to Talk About" is more realistic than some of them, but it's casual treatment of much of the elements is disturbing. When the plot does explore the moral and emotional issues, they usually wrap the story in a glamorous setting to offset the action.

While I am ranting, let me agree with my distaste for "Pretty Woman" and other films which glorify prostitution. But a lot of acting is a form of prostitution, of varying degrees, up to and including the real thing.

I think its a matter of enlightenment and really thinking something through. Many folks don't really think it through until it happens to them or someone close to them, so they accept Hollywood's retarded portrayal of adultery. I know I was guilty of this.

For example, I remember thinking years ago how romantic and special the affair was in Bridges of Madison county. But now that I have been enlightened, I see it in its true light: 2 pigs going at each other in the pig pen. It is no more special or �romantic� that that. Just 2 grunting, filthy pigs.

Additionally, I have learned through first hand experience how disgusting it is to find out about your parents adultery after their death. Although I knew my father was a serial cheater, it was especially disgusting and shameful to find out when planning his funeral that his �girlfriend� was actually �yore daddy�s mistress for 35 years.�

On the other hand, it seems that folks who were taught right from wrong, versus the poisonous moral relativity, do not view adultery as romantic.

I wonder if that has anything to do with it? I was not taught right from wrong as a child; in fact I was taught that adultery is an acceptable lifestyle choice, so I wonder if one's upbringing had anything to do with it? dunno...

Eww, sorry you had to find that gem out at such a sad time Mel.

I didn't even mention the TV shows. Heck, there's "Cheaters," as well as countless others (at least Cheaters --from the little I've seen-- tries to show the emotional devastation to some degree). Even the series often have infidelity as a theme (CSI, Law & Order, etc., etc.)

Mel, your revelation was startling in that it was kept from you for so long. In my case, my dad married his AP.

She was such a horrid person that she alienated everyone in my family. Including my first wife and soon-to-be ex-wife. Even the grandkids stopped visiting.

I wonder what movie would have fit their "affairage?"

ugh Fred, my dad married about 7 or 8 affair partners. He usually met his next wife while married to his last one. I think the ONLY marriage that wasn't an affair marriage was the one to my mother, his first wife.

As for the 35 yr mistress, I asked her why she never married [he was married at least 6 times in all those years!] and she said with a straight face "this niiiiice attorney asked me to marry him but G [my father] didn't think it would be a good idea..."

Hey now, don't be dissing Cheaters!! I love that show!

Thanks Lil

Yep....we just never noticed it before.

I think we just don't notice things in movies that don't directly relate to our lives. And I'm not just talking about Affairs.

Like: My mom died 5 years ago. We (my siblings and I) had to make the decision to turn off the life support. Now, I cannot watch that kind of story line in any movie or TV show. It just brings back really painful memories.

Like: My H got badly burned about 7 years ago. He nor I can stand to watch anything were people are burned or being treated for burns. It just brings back really bad memories.

IMO, for a lot of things, until it directly affects you personally, you don't notice it

My wife and I were raised with a fundamentalist Christian viewpoint, and we generally don't view those things as romantic. We watch a LOT of romantic movies, and it's always a sour note for us when the story involves someone leaving a spouse.

The only time it becomes "right" for us is if the spouse they are leaving is committing adultery. Even then, we still don't want the main character committing adultery. We want them to leave and then marry the new person.

We'd rather see a movie about married people overcoming their marriage problems, or a movie about unmarried people falling in love with each other. (And then getting married before consummating the relationship.)

And as far as we're concerned, this is the normal way to view things.

My latest flick I watched about an affair was Match Point. It did glamorize the affair, and left the BS seem clueless, and incoherent about the affair.

On the other hand it made the WH and the OW look like they were having troubles.

In reality the BS would know, and there would be fits of outrage, crying, depression, and tension between everyone in the story.

Who wants to watch that? I know I wouldn't. I guess it is easier to stick to the formula for a hollywood movie instead of real life.

By four o'clock today there will have been three movies showing that have affairs as a plot device

• Absolute Power (Clint Eastwood, Gene Hackman)
• First Knight (Sean Connery, Richard Gere)
• Just Between Friends (Mary Tyler Moore, Ted Danson)

These are mainstream movies, not grade B stuff.

They are still dreck.

Since D-Day, I view the movie Titanic in a totally different light. I now view it as three hours of fogbabble!

"Jack" ended up in the right place - on the bottom of the ocean.

Wait a minute. Titanic isn't an affair movie. Rose wasn't married. True, she was engaged, but not by her own choice. She was only going to marry the guy because her father left their family destitute and her mother couldn't handle not having money, so she was farming her daughter out to the highest bidder. How does this qualify as an A movie?

I love my Titanic.

You can't imagine how confusing it is to be raised by moral relativists whose only "judgment" [the only sin in loonyville]is reserved for Christians and Republicans. [aka "self righteous a**sholes" ] Wayward, rebellious minds LOATHE those who acknowledge the difference between right and wrong.

I can. I was raised by an OW and single mother who never forgave my wayward father for not leaving his wife and children and marrying her.

oh boy! you were raised in the fun house like me!

More like the nut house.

Actually, I have a lot of friends and acquaintances who think that way.

Some films do show the dark side of where infidelity can lead, such as the over-the-top, "Fatal Attraction" with Michael Douglas and Glenn Close, or "Unfaithful" with Richard Gere and Diane Lane. Even these cop out on reality with extreme endings.

A TV movie that I never got to see in its entirety, "One Special Night", is entirely different. James Garner (whose wife is dying of Alzheimer's) and Julie Andrews (a pediatrician and a widow) don't have an affair, but avoid one while finding comfort in conversation.

One I've watched is "The Family That Preys", one of the Tyler Perry films. What stands out for me about this film compared to other films showing affairs (the affair is just one storyline among many in the film, so it's not just an "affair flick") is the rather unsympathetic way the WW is played.

The WW's character is basically an embittered, entitled wench who treats her husband like dog poop she just stepped in and elevates the OM to near godlike status. Most normal people would strongly dislike the character halfway through the movie, and I think most of you on this forum would absolutely HATE her. Most would cheer when she gets her comeuppance near the end. It's a more realistic ending to an affair than shown in most movies.

We watched an Alfred Hitchcock Presents the other night that contained a textbook adultery. The adulterer involved was a classic cake eater and said pretty much everything that has been said about waywards on this forum.

He wound up dead, too.

It was a second season episode, called "One For the Road."

My daughter came over the other night and brought a movie, IT'S COMPLICATED, with Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin. She and my wife watched it. I did not want to be rude, but I thought they actually made relationships and affairs way too simple. This bordered on creepy for me, and I left after a few minutes, and walked back through the den a few times and glanced at it - getting worse.

Many of Tyler Perry's movies involve adultery and he does not glamorize it at all. In fact, if you watch the movie "Why Did I Get Married?" the BW meets a much better man after her abusive WH leaves her for the OW. The WH ends up miserable with his OW and is shocked that his xBW is so happy.

Story points revealed:

Oh, so people did read my Hitchcock thread. We saw another adultery-featuring Hitchcock the other night, but I think I fell asleep in it and missed the ending.

The nice thing about Mr. Hitchcock's stories is that they do not glamorize adultery.

And the intriguing thing is that the adulteries seem to play out just like many of the stories here.

I mean other than ghastly murders and such. The people say the same things, is what I'm getting at!

Charles was a classic cake-eater. We cringed to watch him tell his lover why he couldn't divorce his wife. We cringed for both women involved. Even though they were fictional characters.

Oops; no; looks like I commented on two threads. Here's the other one, with a growing list:

http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2384248#Post2384248

My post is gone, so here I try again...

My daughter rented IT'S COMPLICATED and brought it over. She and my wife watched it. I did not like the simplicity and nonsense of the acceptance of this affair. It's like the writer/director is either incapable of treating the plot premise seriously, or just wants to make a commercial formula flick reflecting pop degradation.

It hasn't gone!

Oh, I swear it was not there yesterday. Hmmm.
Anyway, has anyone seen this film, "It's Complicated"?
What did you think about it?

I saw it. I thought it was an interesting take on a Revenge Affair, thought they portrayed the therapist very badly, lol'd at the line about Streep needing 'lots of semen', think that Alec Baldwin plays sleazy very, very well, and I was a bit uncomfortable with the general acceptance of everyone around Streep. That girl needed a better class of friends!

However, SPOLIER! Highlight to read:

I was glad to see that Alec ended up losing both women at the end. At least it wasn't romanticized to the point where they got back together.

There was an affair of sorts in my new favorite movie, Repo! The Genetic Opera, but it wasn't played out, it was part of the backstory.

Marni was engaged to Rotti, and left him in favor of one of his employees, Nathan, whom she later married.

SPOILER ALERT!!!! SPOILER ALERT!!!!


I think we need more affair endings like this, and Fatal Attraction. Then maybe I wouldn't have to stare at constant headlines about infidelity.

I maintain HARDILY that it was an affair, yet everyone I know who's seen the movie, seems to think it was okay since Rotti is an "evil" guy and "they were only engaged.". My "she promised herself to him" argument didn't work at all.