he sees a problem because of my ex-husband... what do I do? PLEASE HELP ME - 11/20/07 11:54 PM
Hey. I recently posted on here about a bad situation with my husband. About a day later he decided he wanted a divorce. It was [censored], he finally got a job and a house and then kicked me out so now I have no where to live. Well things were so bad I honestly started thinking about taking my own life, I mean I was (still am) living in my van, my school grades dropping dramatically, struggling to find somewhere to eat all while dealing with the loss of my husband. Then this really great guy came along and we have been dating ever since
It had been going great with him, we have so much in common and are so interested in each other. The only problem is that he is Indian and I am American and his parents want him to have an arranged marriage (but he doesnt want one) and there is this problem with his family. So yesterday out of the blue, he told me he wanted to break up and said it was because of his family situation. I told him I respected the Indian culture and his family and I understood perfectly and I wasn't mad at all. But then we talked awhile and the real truth came out
He told me that the night before when I had let him borrow my phone, he had looked through the pics and videos and had stumbled across this picture of my ex-husband naked. Of course, when my marriage ended I was thinking about exams and finding a place to live and hadnt taken the time to delete the pictures. On the second hand, I hadn't even taken the picture. My ex was an exhibitionist and liked to take pictures of himself and of course we shared the phone because we were married.
Anyway I tried to explain this to him but he said he was just so pissed over imaginging I had been with another man he couldn't stand it. He just on and on for hours upon hours about how this was so horrible for him and he didn't want to break up with me but he doesn't know if he can ever accept that I have been with someone else. He told me he thought I was really immoral that I would have this picture and he just couldn't get over it. I tried to explain over and over but he just didn't get it. I know him and I grew up in very different countries and we view some morals differently but he said he just can't get past this
But then he said he still wants to be together. So we decided not to break up but he just keeps bringing this up whenever I even mention my marriage he just gets pissed he says it makes him so mad he wants to drive the car off the road I mean what can I do to make him feel better? His friend that he lives with is keep telling him I'm a ****** I'm a ****** and my husband is the only man I have ever been with. In fact my husband is the only man I have ever dated aside from this man
I can't stand this because I feel like I am dealing with so many other issues right now. I feel like my husband completely ****** me over and apparently continues to ****** me over because of things like this. I don't know what to do. I really like this guy but do you think its irrational that he is acting like this? I mean what can I do to change my past? It's not like I slept around or had lots of relationships, like I said my husband is the only man I had even dated and he is the one that wanted the divorce not me, I never would have divorced probably just because I view that commitment so strongly. I feel its unfair for him to judge me for this when I feel like I am the one that got screwed in the situation. I never would have married my husband if I had thought he would want to divorce me so its not like I went out looking for guys, I had planned that he would be the only one my whole life
What should I do? To be honest I am crazy about my new boyfriend he is a dream to me but I just feel consistently insulted by him along these lines like he pictures I have done something so wrong and immoral and I Just don't know how to make him realize its not like that.
It had been going great with him, we have so much in common and are so interested in each other. The only problem is that he is Indian and I am American and his parents want him to have an arranged marriage (but he doesnt want one) and there is this problem with his family. So yesterday out of the blue, he told me he wanted to break up and said it was because of his family situation. I told him I respected the Indian culture and his family and I understood perfectly and I wasn't mad at all. But then we talked awhile and the real truth came out
He told me that the night before when I had let him borrow my phone, he had looked through the pics and videos and had stumbled across this picture of my ex-husband naked. Of course, when my marriage ended I was thinking about exams and finding a place to live and hadnt taken the time to delete the pictures. On the second hand, I hadn't even taken the picture. My ex was an exhibitionist and liked to take pictures of himself and of course we shared the phone because we were married.
Anyway I tried to explain this to him but he said he was just so pissed over imaginging I had been with another man he couldn't stand it. He just on and on for hours upon hours about how this was so horrible for him and he didn't want to break up with me but he doesn't know if he can ever accept that I have been with someone else. He told me he thought I was really immoral that I would have this picture and he just couldn't get over it. I tried to explain over and over but he just didn't get it. I know him and I grew up in very different countries and we view some morals differently but he said he just can't get past this
But then he said he still wants to be together. So we decided not to break up but he just keeps bringing this up whenever I even mention my marriage he just gets pissed he says it makes him so mad he wants to drive the car off the road I mean what can I do to make him feel better? His friend that he lives with is keep telling him I'm a ****** I'm a ****** and my husband is the only man I have ever been with. In fact my husband is the only man I have ever dated aside from this man
I can't stand this because I feel like I am dealing with so many other issues right now. I feel like my husband completely ****** me over and apparently continues to ****** me over because of things like this. I don't know what to do. I really like this guy but do you think its irrational that he is acting like this? I mean what can I do to change my past? It's not like I slept around or had lots of relationships, like I said my husband is the only man I had even dated and he is the one that wanted the divorce not me, I never would have divorced probably just because I view that commitment so strongly. I feel its unfair for him to judge me for this when I feel like I am the one that got screwed in the situation. I never would have married my husband if I had thought he would want to divorce me so its not like I went out looking for guys, I had planned that he would be the only one my whole life
What should I do? To be honest I am crazy about my new boyfriend he is a dream to me but I just feel consistently insulted by him along these lines like he pictures I have done something so wrong and immoral and I Just don't know how to make him realize its not like that.