dating advice - signs of affection - 09/27/12 09:47 PM
Hi everyone, I�d like some opinions on a new dating situation I�m in.
For those who don�t know my story, I�ve been divorced close to 3 years, got into a serious relationship too soon after separating, ended that relationship about 2 months ago in July, and have been enjoying being single since then, not looking to date at all. I�ve never been the type to look for dates. If I meet someone by accident and like them, I�ll pursue the relationship; but if not, I�m ok on my own.
(More of my background is on this thread if you�re interested.)
About a month ago, a married male friend I hadn�t heard from in many years sent me an email mentioning a woman friend of his in my area who was looking for dating opportunites, and he thought we might make a good match. Since I had been enjoying the refreshing feeling of being single again, I debated following up, but his description of her intrigued me -- smart, cute, athletic �- so I asked him about her. After an email introduction and then a couple phone calls, we decided to meet in the afternoon at a nearby park and walk our dogs. My friend was correct; she is indeed smart (advanced degree in organic chemistry), cute as a button, athletic (runs � marathons at about my running pace), loves the outdoors (so do I), and has a charming personality. After the walk, we spur-of-the-moment decided to grab a quick bite to eat for dinner and ended up spending 4 hours in conversation at a casual restaurant.
That was two weekends ago. Last weekend, we met around noon, rode mountain bikes through a park to a Whole Foods store, ate lunch, and rode back. It was another fun experience in which 6 hours passed by quickly, and we both agreed that we feel very comfortable with each other, easily able to be ourselves.
Last night, we met after work for a beer tasting event at a local wine & beer shop, and again, time slipped by quickly as we talked and talked and talked. We've had a few phone calls like that too where the conversation seems very easy, and I'm always left with happy feelings when we hang up.
My question involves when to express signs of affection such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc. I welcome all advice, but since I�m a male, I�m particularly interested in the female point of view.
When all three dates ended, as we were saying goodbye, she initiated a hug. The first two times, I was somewhat caught off guard. In thinking about it afterwards, I decided her hugs are either affectionate or else that�s just the way she says goodbye to everyone. Last night, however, felt different. My intuition said that she was waiting for me to initiate some kind of hug, but I was too slow, so she did it.
I like physical signs of affection such as hugs and kisses, but I don�t want to rush into anything. Does expressing signs of affection indicate that I�m interested in her and no one else? If I was currently dating other women casually, I don�t think I could express physical signs of affection. But since I�m not, does doing so imply dating exclusivity? If you�re a woman reading this, and a man hugs or kisses you after a couple of dates, do you interpret that as he�s not hugging and kissing other women?
I'll be seeing her again this weekend, and I'm thinking of asking her about hugs and kisses and what it means to her, but I'm not entirely comfortable doing so, which is why I'm posting this question here.
Does anyone know of any radio broadcasts where Dr. Harley discusses signs of affection when starting a dating relationship?
Thanks for your thoughts.
For those who don�t know my story, I�ve been divorced close to 3 years, got into a serious relationship too soon after separating, ended that relationship about 2 months ago in July, and have been enjoying being single since then, not looking to date at all. I�ve never been the type to look for dates. If I meet someone by accident and like them, I�ll pursue the relationship; but if not, I�m ok on my own.
(More of my background is on this thread if you�re interested.)
About a month ago, a married male friend I hadn�t heard from in many years sent me an email mentioning a woman friend of his in my area who was looking for dating opportunites, and he thought we might make a good match. Since I had been enjoying the refreshing feeling of being single again, I debated following up, but his description of her intrigued me -- smart, cute, athletic �- so I asked him about her. After an email introduction and then a couple phone calls, we decided to meet in the afternoon at a nearby park and walk our dogs. My friend was correct; she is indeed smart (advanced degree in organic chemistry), cute as a button, athletic (runs � marathons at about my running pace), loves the outdoors (so do I), and has a charming personality. After the walk, we spur-of-the-moment decided to grab a quick bite to eat for dinner and ended up spending 4 hours in conversation at a casual restaurant.
That was two weekends ago. Last weekend, we met around noon, rode mountain bikes through a park to a Whole Foods store, ate lunch, and rode back. It was another fun experience in which 6 hours passed by quickly, and we both agreed that we feel very comfortable with each other, easily able to be ourselves.
Last night, we met after work for a beer tasting event at a local wine & beer shop, and again, time slipped by quickly as we talked and talked and talked. We've had a few phone calls like that too where the conversation seems very easy, and I'm always left with happy feelings when we hang up.
My question involves when to express signs of affection such as hugging, kissing, holding hands, etc. I welcome all advice, but since I�m a male, I�m particularly interested in the female point of view.
When all three dates ended, as we were saying goodbye, she initiated a hug. The first two times, I was somewhat caught off guard. In thinking about it afterwards, I decided her hugs are either affectionate or else that�s just the way she says goodbye to everyone. Last night, however, felt different. My intuition said that she was waiting for me to initiate some kind of hug, but I was too slow, so she did it.
I like physical signs of affection such as hugs and kisses, but I don�t want to rush into anything. Does expressing signs of affection indicate that I�m interested in her and no one else? If I was currently dating other women casually, I don�t think I could express physical signs of affection. But since I�m not, does doing so imply dating exclusivity? If you�re a woman reading this, and a man hugs or kisses you after a couple of dates, do you interpret that as he�s not hugging and kissing other women?
I'll be seeing her again this weekend, and I'm thinking of asking her about hugs and kisses and what it means to her, but I'm not entirely comfortable doing so, which is why I'm posting this question here.
Does anyone know of any radio broadcasts where Dr. Harley discusses signs of affection when starting a dating relationship?
Thanks for your thoughts.