I met the most gorgeous, loving and supportive woman 7 months ago. We hit it off immediately and started a very intimate and close relationship. We are very serious about our feelings and love for one another.

Here is the issue: She had a colorful past and it haunts me continuously. I researched all the aspects of this feeling/s and can rationally explain it to myself. But, emotionally it is an entire different matter.

I understand the fact that I can either deal with it or end the relationship. I prefer the first option and wanted advice or tools to help me cope with this situation.

Any support and advice would be appreciated.

Thanks much.

If you want to continue the relationship, you will have to leave the past in the past. That means you never speak of it of it again, you stop reading and researching, and anytime you think of it, redirect your thoughts elsewhere. Don't dwell on it.

If you can't or won't do that, it will ruin your relationship.

You are dating, and the feelings you have now are not going to disappear and it's not healthy for you to try and make them disappear. It's setting yourself up for disappointment if you try to paper over it and eventually marry this woman. There's SOMEONE out there you can find if you are persistent who will not stir up these feelings in you, and given that you have the choice to find them, I would take it. Don't settle!

In Buyers, Renters, Freeloaders Dr. Harley suggests a personal history questionnaire partially for this exact reason...so you know what you're getting into and whether you can accept that or not in your partner. Your being bothered by this is not entirely emotional, it's also a rational fear response to what I'd bet you know in your heart is a high risk behavior.

From my personal history, I would suggest you not get into a serious relationship with a person like this no matter how appealing they might seem at the moment because a colorful sexual past is an indicator that they have historically had issues with boundaries and impulse control. People with a healthy grasp on those things (even if sex is a big temptation for them) will not risk the consequences of casual sex. These are extremely dangerous characteristics in a spouse. I married someone like this and I very much regret it now.