Recovering from years of damage - 03/28/12 11:39 AM
My lovely wife and I have been married for many(+15)years and now have teenage kids. I love my wife dearly, but I have to admit that I have not treated her the best during our marriage.
In Marriage Builder's context I have made significant withdrawals from the "Love bank" and as a result our marriage. There have been times where I have said hurtful things with the intention of hurting her. I have had times where I have become violent out of frustration. Old girlfriends have contacted me in Facebook and I have responded. I have browsed questionable Internet content involving scantily clad ladies. All of these things, my wife has found and become very angry with me. And rightfully so when you put it all in context. Through all this I have never had an affair sexual or emotional.
I dearly love my wife, but have a really difficult time showing it. She is a beautiful, wonderful mother and I really enjoy being with her when she is not harassing me about all the things I have done wrong.
I should feel some consolation that she partly upset out of jealousy. But I'm looking understand if the rest of her anger and resentment is born of disappointment (because she loves me) or pure apathy.
I really am at a loss to next steps. Last night was particularly hard because her conversation got particularly hateful (and mine too)and she specifically stated that she was looking for a divorce.
Any help and/or guidance would be appreciated.
In Marriage Builder's context I have made significant withdrawals from the "Love bank" and as a result our marriage. There have been times where I have said hurtful things with the intention of hurting her. I have had times where I have become violent out of frustration. Old girlfriends have contacted me in Facebook and I have responded. I have browsed questionable Internet content involving scantily clad ladies. All of these things, my wife has found and become very angry with me. And rightfully so when you put it all in context. Through all this I have never had an affair sexual or emotional.
I dearly love my wife, but have a really difficult time showing it. She is a beautiful, wonderful mother and I really enjoy being with her when she is not harassing me about all the things I have done wrong.
I should feel some consolation that she partly upset out of jealousy. But I'm looking understand if the rest of her anger and resentment is born of disappointment (because she loves me) or pure apathy.
I really am at a loss to next steps. Last night was particularly hard because her conversation got particularly hateful (and mine too)and she specifically stated that she was looking for a divorce.
Any help and/or guidance would be appreciated.