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Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: Oct 2013
Posts: 1 |
Hello,
My husband and I have been married 31 years. We still have sex regularly but, our sex is just sex and not love making. My husband doesn't understand this concept. It won't cause an end to our marriage but, I don't want it to stay this way either. We've been through a lot in 31 years and, we still love each other more than ever. Really, I guess the problem is mine. He is fine with the way things are. Guess I'm just looking for suggestions.
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1
Member
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Member
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985 Likes: 1 |
Hi TAM, welcome to Marriage Builders. Most women need 2 things to desire sex: an emotional attachment to their partner and the prospect of enjoyment. When the passion leaves the relationship, women usually lose their desire for sex and stop having it. Your husband would be wise to listen to your complaints and make improvements because pretty soon you won't feel like having sex with him at all. And people don't do what they don't desire for long. The key to creating desire is to bring back the romance and passion to your marriage. Women who in romantic relationships typically have plenty of desire. This article explains this dynamic well: here
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650
Member
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Member
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 11,650 |
How much time do you spend together a week giving each other Undivided Attention? No TVs, no phones, just dating?
It's difficult for women to attach on that level without a lot of care, time and attention.
Is sex an 'event', part of a whole romantic evening, or is it just something that takes place before bed?
What would you do if you were not afraid?
"Fear is the little death. Fear is the mind-killer" Frank Herbert.
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