To cut a long story we had an incident that was over nothing, just the kids arguing and "someone" smashed our windows (yep it was this other girls Dad). He is a complete idiot - been in prison etc. Police can do nothing - person who did it had a motorbike helmet on etc.

To be honest, I want to move on, it was hassle but I really want him coming back and things escalating. Wife on the other hand seems obsessed on paying him back somehow. We agreed to keep it quiet because we really didn't want to antagonise things knowing how little we can do about it. Shes now on a mission to tell everyone about it.

I've tried to explain that her actions affect everyone, inc the kids. She just won't listen. Its got to the point where I had to get really serious and basically say look cut it out or things are going to be bad between us.

Now its my fault because I'm telling her what to do and trying to control her apparently. My take is this is REALLY important and in a couple you can't just go off and do what you want. She just does not seem to care - its become an obsession now.

I really don't want to split we've been married a LONG time but I don't want to be concerned about some stupid things my wife does in the future for ever. Its not the first time either.

Any advice?