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Hang in there notso/'neak, just like child birth this won't last forever. Weaver


Those of you who needed to see that, you know who you are. No matter what, there will come an end to your perdition, at the time you choose.

Mine wound up to a fast finish. On April 29, he arrived home in the wee hours of the morning. He was just coming from a trip to southern CA, but took the back way home, coming through Reno and down the mountains that way. A friend was with him, whose house was a bit higher up in the hills than Gargamel's.

He arrived home earlier than I expected, so I was very happy, thinking he had rushed home to me. He was so happy to see me, hugging me jubilantly and having his way with me, um, twice.

The next day I intercepted a TM that made it all too clear that I was not his first meat of the evening. It was revolting enough still trying to have sex with him while he was screwing her, but to fit us in so close together made me want to kill him. Ok, not kill, but at least torture and dismember for a year or two. (Guess which member I wanted to dismember first?!?)

That one incident dropped my Love Bank so low that I knew Plan B had to come with lightning speed. I could barely hold myself in from screaming at him, and without the months of self-control practice I don't think I could have. This came right during the time I was preparing to go mysteriously out for the evening.

A couple of people had discussed the possibility of putting a sprinkle of "180" in my Plan A, theorizing that since he had shown many signs of being dependent on me, but was also becoming more deeply entangled with the OW, that if I suddenly wasn't quite as available as he was used to, that he might focus more energy at home and cause stress on the A. They proved right beyond my wildest expectations. (My wildest expectation was that while they were out drinking and maybe screwing, that it wouldn't be quite as enjoyable for him if every little bit he wondered what I was doing.)

A little while before I was ready to go, I sent a TM to AJ telling him only that I was going to be with friends for the evening. He called up shortly and started being really caustic, accusing me of meeting a male friend of ours, and trying to say that something was up with me.

For what happened next, I doubt I could retell it better than I did the first time, so here it is.

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Whew! It's been a long night and day! My version differs considerably from WH.

Hers:
Shortly after 6pm, [her mother] gives her a ride to her sister's, as her car is still in the shop. Sis is gone, but is expected back any minute so Notso waits, groaning as she has to use dialup to access the MB site, looking for a way to pass the time. Also, growing quite chilly in her spring dress, she wishes she had changed before she came. Around 7pm, still online, she sends a slightly vague message to WH informing him she will be out for the evening to "see some friends and stuff". At 7:30 she gets the first of several calls from WH, the one discussed a few posts up. Then WH calls her, very angry, saying he is on his way home from work (4 hrs early) to get the kids, and it is all over between them. Notso is taken aback, and the only thing she is able to guess is that perhaps WH did indeed find a tracking device on his car and is blaming her. She waits and wonders.

His:
Shortly before noon, WH receives a mysterious call from an unknown male asking for Notso by a pet name commonly used only in pre-college days. The UM hangs up abruptly upon finding out Notso is gone. WH's suspicions are aroused, as Notso knows he will be gone to work that day. Then, when he tries to call home that evening, only Gramps answers, saying Notso left in a hurry & is not back. WH tries to call SIL's house, with no luck. (Notso is on the hated dialup, remember?) Then the vague message arrives from one who has always had a tendency to over-explain, and suddenly it all adds up: Notso is going to sleep with someone else to punish him for his transgressions. He must race home and at least save the children from her evil clutches!

[Neaksis] is still not there upon his arrival at 8:30. Notso is not dressed appropriately for the weather, still in the same dress from church. He wants Notso to go and do...whatever it was she was going to do, but she calmly says, "Oh, that's all right, I already called [my female friend] and said I would just come another night." He winces. So she still plans to go, but at least not THIS night. Completely eluding him is the irony of watching Notso like a hawk to prevent her from doing the EXACT SAME THING he had already planned to do that EXACT SAME EVENING!!!!

Oh dear friends, that was such a long discussion. We both remained calm, which was to the good, but I never in a million years expected that reaction. He at least knows very clearly that I still believe he is sleeping with OW, but that I still love him and want us to succeed in working things out. He was even clingier than the other night, holding me all night and all morning, being extra loving and giving until...

After my nap, I was still very sleepy and came out to where he was working on the computer to sit down and rest my head on his knee, as I often do, when he was just downright rude, telling me to go back to bed if I was that tired, and he was too busy for this. Translation: I am in the middle of IM'ing OW trying to make amends for blowing her off last night, and setting up our next meeting (probably going on right now), and I don't want you to see any further proof that I have been lying to you." For somebody with astigmatism, I can see pretty well.


I later found out he had lied to her, telling her some story about having an emergency with the children, and so he couldn't go out with her that night.

This little tidbit from this episode sprang from my lips after several weeks of absorbing Orchid's revers babble. It majorly scrambled him!

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WH: Do you really think I'm the kind of scumbag who would go up there and have sex with OW, and then come right back to you and have sex with you, too?

Notso: I love you, and would never want to put labels like that on you.


The look on his face as he tried to find a good interpretation for that was priceless.

A snippet from two days before the Plan B bomb:

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Another of life's little ironies...

The other night WH told me that at first he could hardly stand to touch me when we had SF, but now he desired me more than ever. But right now for me, knowing details of what he is doing with OW, I feel just like he did at the beginning, and probably worse. I am swallowing my bile with effort to maintain a very strong Plan A until the very last second when I am ready to implement B. If he weren't so busy having phone sex & worse, he might notice that I can't help being a bit more distant. Ugh!

You can see how far down my love had gone. At that point I would have fallen on my knees and thanked God wholeheartedly if AJ had only left, and stopped tormenting me. I was still willing to try again if he agreed to my PBL terms, but I didn't need him any more, barely wanted him, and would cheerfully have fed him to the pirhanas.

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb


Neak's Story