Losttiger, it's all a matter of perspective. Many days I have read the stories of other people and said to myself, "I thought I had it bad, but look how much worse it is for them." Especially the ones where the A drags on and on and on.

In some ways I had it easier than most, especially in the way AJ bottomed out so fast and came back, but in other ways it was harder. We were so affectionate with each other, and so verbal in our loving expressions, right up until he dropped the bomb. It would have been much easier having his affections cut off suddenly if we had been more distant pre-A.

Don't beat yourself up thinking you should be farther along. It's a good thing nobody on this board can read my thoughts on a moment by moment basis. While I try to always be truthful, and to present an honest expression of what I am actually like, inside my head is often pretty scary. Recently that has been starting to get better, but is still often very hard.

Be patient with youself. This takes lots of time. (Note to self: that applies to you, too.)