Compared to the A, recovery has been mostly a blur. The A was an unending series of distinct wounds seared into me, and R has been more like lapsing in and out of consciousness. Not as painful, but still a struggle.

I read the other day, I think in Jean's thread, about waiting for the other shoe to drop, and that sums it up best for me. Especially since he betrayed me again after his tears and promises, I had little faith - almost none - that it wouldn't just happen again.

So even though I have still been very loving, and putting in my share of effort, a large part of me stayed aloof and separate, just waiting for him to go back to her. It has only been in the last month that I have started to relax a teeny bit, and think that maybe he is really done with her.

When we return, we will find out what went on during the last month of contact, and how Gargamel tried to secure AJ for herself. Well, she was anyway, obviously, but even more during that time.

But for now, duty calls. I'm going to clean for a bit, then the kids are going to the annual ornament exchange party at Neaksis' house. They are still dressed in summer clothes, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />, and need to change into something more appropriate for November.