I admit it, I did.

First, she hates driving with me because of my G-jumpiness. "Aaaaagh! There she is....no, wait, it just looks like hers. Eeeeeeeek! There's another one....no, that's not her, either." Her patience for that sort of thing is rather short of sisterly. *pout*

We went the back way and dropped the poor little white lawnmower off at the shop, then went together in the Suburban to the thrift shop.

Now, when I stepped out of the car at the muffler place, I froze with horror when there was such a rush, um, down under, that it felt like I had urinated in my underthingies, when I was pretty sure I hadn't. So I had to run in and freshen up really quick. And since Neaksis was standing right there watching me when I gooshed, she was already grossed out by the time we got to the thrift store.

Under the circumstances, I was not real keen on a wheeee-let's-change-our-clothes-a-bunch-of-times spree, so she was a bit disappointed with that, and then I kept walking funny around the store and making little grunts or whimpers whenever I felt my life forces draining away again. It was sooooooo funny, and well worth the inconvenience to watch the disgust shivers racing across her face. She is so delicate. Cute little Neaksis!

On our way past the last place I had seen Gargamel, I glanced over, AND SHE WAS THERE AGAIN!!!! Neaksis got the best look at her full-length, but we both saw her profile quite well. Let's just say she appears to have been using comfort food to console herself for the loss of her married boyfriend.

"My, she's fat," I say.
"My, she has a big nose," Neaksis says.

If any of you, after reading any quantity of what I've written, still think I'm nice, it's a good thing you can't see the smug, self-satisfied smirk on my face just now. She's fat, and I'm not, ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!!!!

(Brief moment as Rational Self tries to reassert itself. It is not enough for me to be more attractive on the outside than she is. Character, honor, loyalty, these are written on the soul, and are the only things that truly matter. A fine character trumps a beautiful exterior any day of the week.)

Moment over. I'm skinnier! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />

When I told AJ about this near C, he was relieved that she did not even turn her head at the Suburban. It is nice to have something we can drive and be anonymous.

So from there we drove up to the school to pick up my niece & nephews, but they misunderstood (?) and rode home with one of Neaksis' neighbors, whose kids also go to the same school.

Another great moment at the school. I had to tidy up in their facility, of course, and whoever had used that stall right before me had plugged up the toilet, but it still looked fine when I used it. Had there been a plunger I would have been delighted to plunge it myself, but there was not. So I had to confess to the teacher that the Red Sea needed to be parted.

It just hasn't been my day.

But I'm skinnier!

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb

Neak's Story