Thanks, Neak.
It is nice he came home that night.

Yeah, the big-d pops up in my mind, Then I think, I stayed with him after an A, why am I freaking out over this?

Sometimes when I know he is upset with me or irritated with me about somethng, I'll wonder if he is going to go have an A again. Most of the time I am able to push that thought out of my head, but twice I have messed up by asking him. He looks a deflated balloon when I have done it. I hate making him feel that way.

Can I ask you something else? Do you still check up on him?

just wondering