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Does anybody here work for the IRS? I can give you her SSN, and you can schedule her for a nice audit. La la, I'm thinking of something else now. Down that road lies the Dark Side. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> I know, I'll think of cars. Subarus, Fords, Chevys, GMC's, Hyundais, Audis, speaking of Audis, that reminds me of audits... Maybe I'd better think of celebrities instead. Teri Hatcher, Tom Selleck, Connie Selleca, Damon Wayans, Jessica Simpson, now there's an odd ditz....odd ditz....oddditz... I'm going to go eat a big bowl of ice cream!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Just for the record, Neaksis votes for just ignoring it and letting the PO send it back when their deliveries expire. Just wait till she has a chance to tell you about her 3 Stooges adventures last night helping our friend report that child molestor. Though if she has to go down again this morning for Round 2 it might be a little while. For a foretaste, picture: "Try to keep my children away from their rapist long enough for me to go and report him - thanks - bye!" It was almost that bad. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> They are very dear people, but also the poster children for Lemonman's tag line. I've got the dishwasher cranked up, my tummy full of hot chocolate, and the Dervish is asleep. Life is good!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I swiped this from Mom's email to me. These little tests are always so much fun! Dr Phil's Test: Here you go. Try this!
Below is Dr Phil's test. (Dr. Phil scored 55; he did this test on Oprah - she got a 38.) Some folks pay a lot of money to find this stuff out!
Read on, this is very interesting!
Don't be overly sensitive! The following is pretty accurate and it only takes 2 minutes. Take this test for yourself and send it to your friends.
The person who sent it placed their score in the e-mail subject box. P lease do the same before forwarding to your friends (send it back to the person who Sent it to you.) Don't peek, but begin the test as you scroll down and answer.
Answers are for who you are now...... not who you were in the past. Have pen or pencil and paper ready. This is a real test given by the Human Relations Dept. at many of the major corporations today.
It helps them get better insight concerning their empl! oyees and prospective employees. It's only 10 Simple questions, so...grab a pencil and paper,
keeping track of your letter answers to each question.
Make sure to change the subject of the e-mail to read YOUR total. When you are finished, forward this to friends/family, and also send it to the person who sent this to you. Make sure to put YOUR
score in the subject box.
Ready??
Begin...
1. When do you feel your best?
a) in the morning
b) during the afternoon &and early evening
c) late at night
2. You usually walk...
a) fairly fast, with long steps
b) fairly fast, with little steps
c) less fast head up, looking the world in the face
d) less fast, head down
e) very slowly
3. When talking to people you..
a) stand with your arms folded
b) have your hands clasped
c) have one or both your hands on your hips
d) touch or push the person to whom you are talking
e) play with your ear, ! touch your chin, or smooth your hair
4. When relaxing, you sit with..
a) your knees bent with your legs neatly side by side
b) your legs crossed
c) your legs stretched out or straight
d) one leg curled under you
5. When something really amuses you, you react with...
a) big appreciated laugh
b) a laugh, but not a loud one
c) a quiet chuckle
d) a sheepish smile
6. When you go to a party or social gathering you...
a) make a loud entrance so everyone notices you
b) make a quiet entrance, looking arou nd for someone you know
c) make the quietest entrance, trying to stay unnoticed
7. You're working very hard, concentrating hard, and you're interrupted......
a) welcome the break
b) feel extremely irritated
c) vary between these two extremes
8. Which of the following c olors do you like most?
a) Red or orange
b) black
c) yellow or light blue
d) green
e) dark blue or purple
f) white
g) brown or gray
9. When you are in bed at night, in those last few moments before going to sleep you are..
a) stretched out on your back
b) stretched out face down on your stomach
c) on your side, slightly curled
d) with your head on one arm
e) with your head under the covers
10. You often dream that you are...
a) falling
b) fighting or struggling
c) searching for something or somebody
d) flying or floating
e) you usually have dreamless sleep
f) your dreams are always pleasant
POINTS:
1. (a) 2 (b) 4 (c) 6
2. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 7 (d) 2 (e) 1
3. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 5 (d) 7 (e) 6
4. (a) 4 ( b) 6 (c) 2 (d) 1
5. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 2
6. (a) 6 (b) 4 (c) 2
7. (a) 6 (b) 2 (c) 4
8. (a) 6 (b) 7 (c) 5 (d) 4 (e) 3 (f) 2 (g) 1
9. (a) 7 (b) 6 (c) 4 (d) 2 (e) 1
10. (a) 4 (b) 2 (c) 3 (d) 5 (e) 6 (f) 1
Now add up the total number of points.
OVER 60 POINTS: Others see you as someone they should "handle with care." You're seen as vain, self-centered, and who is extremely dominant. Others may admire you, wishing they could be more like
you, but don't always trust you, hesitating to become too deeply involved with you.
51 TO 60 POINTS: Others see you as an exciting, highly volatile, rather impulsive personality; a natural leader, who's quick to make decisions, though not always the right ones. They see you as bold and
adventuresome, someone who will try anything once; someone who takes chances and enjoys an adventure. They enjoy being in your company
because of the exciteme! nt you radiate.
41 TO 50 POINTS: Other s see you as fresh, lively, charming, amusing, practical, and always interesting; someone who's constantly in the center of attention, but sufficiently well-balanced not to let it go to their head. They also see you as kind, considerate, and understanding; someone who'll always cheer them up and help them out.
31 TO 40 POINTS: Others see you as sensible, cautious, careful & practical. They see you as clever, gifted, or talented, but modest. Not a person who makes friends too quickly or easily, but someone
who's extremely loyal to friends you do make and who expect the same loyalty in return. Those who really get to know you realize it takes a lot to shake your trust In your friends, but equally that it takes you a long time to get over if that trust is ever broken.
21 TO 30 POINTS: Your friends see you as painstaking and fussy. They see you as very cautious, extremely careful, a slow and steady plodder. It would! really surprise them if you ever did somethi ng
impulsively or on the spur of the moment, expecting you to examine everything carefully from every angle and then, usually decide against it. They think this reaction is caused partly by your careful nature.
UNDER 21 POINTS: People think you are shy, nervous, and indecisive, someone who needs looking after, who always wants someone else to make the decisions & who doesn't want to get involved with
anyone or anything! They see you as a worrier who always sees problems that don't exist. Some people think you're boring. Only those who know you well know that you aren't. So as not to break my perfect record for soul-baring, my answers were: 1-A, 2-A, 3-A, 4-B, 5-B, 6-B, 7-C, 8-A, 9-B, 10-B. It totals 44, so I am simply wonderful! Only one point less wonderful than Mom. I demand a recount!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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One last little exorcism just took place. I had forgotten till now that I still had her information in my email address book, so I went and deleted it, as long as I was trying to get her off the brain anyway. (In another 50 years or so maybe I will forget her phone numbers.) One more little bit of distance gained. I said on Idiotville, but not here, I was ablt to get the post office to forward that letter directly to the attorney, so that is another very good thing. Speaking of long-overdue tasks, I think I'll go take down the Christmas tree tonight. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Neak, I got 50. But I see myself as more in the 31 to 40 point range as far as characteristics. Tonight I'm going to sleep with my head under the covers.
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But 50 is a really good score, right? LOL!! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I would sleep with my head under the covers, out of sympathy, but not when AJ's around. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Hey there.
Just wanted to say happy seven months. How's it going for you? I've had a couple of off days but overall it is going well.
The FOWs birthday is this week so I that is in my head. I had planned to do something special for us that day, but I have to work out of town that day.
He bought me a beautiful ring for Chiristmas. It is an opal and I love wearing it. I have hardly taken it off since Christmas. Work right now is different from the norm- nery physical and using my hands a lot. I cracked the opal yesterday. Thankfully, he bought the warranty. It is now being repaired. I'll have it back one day before FOW's bday.
My very dear friend is seriusly ill. They have given her about 2 months to live. She called me at 10 last night to tell me. Needless to say last night was not a good night. He held me and let me cry for most of the night. He has been very sweet all day in just letting me talk and keeping me positive.
Most days I don't dwell on it. I am having to drive a lot right now which gives me too much time to think. Had one day last week where I practiced the screaming in the car as a stress releiver.
Things really are getting better.
One night this week our dd was spending the night with a friend so we were by ourselves. He said "I'm really looking forward to growing old with you - just the two of us. I really like us being together." That made my week.
Because work is so busy in this time of the year, I know I neglected everything last year and let the A flourish during this time. I have been trying so hard to not let that happen this year. I have even cooked supper after 11-12 hour days.
He offered for us to eat out but we are trying to save money. He has even helped in cleaning up the kitchen.
Anyway, things are moving along.
Hope things are ok with you.
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What a surprise, when I came on here to vent about my tale of woe, to find this thread already back on page 1. So happy 7-month anniversary to you, too, and that explains everything! (Glad to hear you are chugging right along & that your H is making the huge deposit that always goes along with domestic chores.) It started last Saturday, when the kids recorded one of their favorite shows on TBN, called K 10 C. This stands for Kids' Ten Commandments. It is a neat, if occasionally minorly inaccurate program. (For example, in their episode about the Sabbath, the man who broke it just had to fill in the hole he was digging, and wait till after sundown, instead of being stoned. Hey, that's understandable - cartoon stonings on a kids' show might be considered too intense, even for the sake of authenticity.) Well, this time around was about adultery. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" /> Even watered down sufficiently to make it appropriate for children, i.e. no billowing tent walls, it was still far more than I am able to see, and I had to leave the room every time they watched it. And need I say it was their new favorite??? As much as I couldn't stand it myself, it is such an important lesson for them to begin learning early, that I couldn't find it in myself to delete it, either. Even after the stunning question (in front of AJ), "Mom, what's adultery?" <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /> If I were an unkind person, I would simply have said, "Ask your father." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Then, as you know, the next item was the certified letter, which I have not heard anything about from the attorney, by the way, so it can't have been too important. Tuesday night, as I drove in to join AJ at the hospital, I was surprised at the huge wave of flashbacks from the previous time at the hospital where he met her, and had her go in with him. (Different hospital.) I had to keep reminding myself, rather like a mantra, "This time, he called me. This time, he called me. This time..." Wednesday and Thursday were the worst of all. Our doctor's office is up past the Evil Lair, and it is miles to go around through another town and come in from the back way. Normally, that is what we do. But because of his urgent need of medical care, and the last-minute nature of each appointment, we had to go the regular way in order to make it. Wednesday in some ways was the worst. I was driving, because he was still in pretty bad shape. I was edgy the whole trip, but when we turned off the highway to take the road up the hill my blood pressure must have shot through the roof. About 2 miles later, when we reached the stop light and went across into firm Gargamel territory, I began to slip into a coma. AJ surely knew this was bothering me somewhat, and tried to keep chatting to divert me. But when he put his hand comfortingly on my leg, I began to cry. Fortunately, as long as I am trying to hold tears back, they almost always come out of my left eye only. Weird. But I didn't dare try and talk about it in front of the kids, and by the time we passed Neaksis' kids' school I would have been incoherent anyway. Keep in mind, I have driven past any number of times without him in the last seven months, and only have to pat my hackles down afterwards, and concentrate on stopping the growls bubbling up deep in my throat. It is very different when he is there, and it stirs up all the deep feelings that have lain dormant for a long time now. We had a long wait in the lobby, for all our hurry, <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> and sanity slowly returned. I just leaned over on AJ's shoulder, his arm around me, and tried to find my Happy Place. By the time we went in I was much better, able to read to the children and converse with AJ & the staff. I thought I was off the hook after that, because his next appointment was Monday, and it would be simple to leave early enough to go around then. But the stupid refinery doctor wanted that stupid urine test to try and find traces of that stupid benzene or whatever. We spent almost all day waiting to hear back if our dr.'s lab could do the test, then at about 3 they called us all hurry up, how fast can you get in here, we need you right now. So it was back into the fire again. AJ felt up to driving, and I think maybe that is why I didn't comatose myself as badly as before. I just held his kindly-offered hand in a death grip and looked out my window at the other side of the road from her house. Oh, and cried the whole way up. Stupid left eye. Makes no sense at all, but even crying more I was way more conscious, and recovered faster after. We will definitely go the other way around on Monday, not that there was ever any doubt. I think another time of that would finish me off completely. In addition to stirring up all the same old feelings even more than the hospital trip had done, I worried terribly that even that much exposure to the Horrid Hotbed of Heated Lust would somehow make him miss her, or talk to her, or even go back to her. So it poisoned my dreams. I spent the whole night in turmoil, several times even waking up and then falling right back into the same nightmare. We had decided to give her a $1,000 gift card for one of the payments <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" /><img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />, and he was supposed to mail it. Instead, he took it in person, and they had been talking every since. I found out when he slipped up mentioning how he had rung her doorbell. So I spent the whole night sick and scooted over as close to the edge of the bed as I could to avoid touching him (that part was real), while in my mind I plunged unhesitatingly into Plan B, and drove around from one friend to the next trying to find a haven away from him so I could prepare the divorce papers. Thus the hours of the night ticked away. You can bet I was a real bundle of sunshine when I woke up. While I was still in transition between sleep and wakefulness, he tossed aside the 36-pound tumor that had crept between us during the night, and pulled me close to snuggle. It was all I could do not to run, except I was too tired to run. I had to tell myself quite firmly that he had actually done nothing wrong, and that it was perfectly acceptable to curl up with my own husband, whom I WAS NOT in the process of divorcing. Thus begins Month 8 of recovery. For all that, I'm doing very well now, even better for having gotten all that off my chest. I think I will have nice dreams tonight, maybe containing a natural disaster or maneating lion. Those are often quite fun. But if any of you see Gargamel, please tell her she is no longer welcome in my sleep-life, either. And can anyone more techno-savvy than I tell me how to block her address from my dreamail box? Before I go to bed, I think I will go see if I can find where I hid the three mint cookies so the kids wouldn't find them. I hid them a little too well, and this is the third day I haven't been able to find them, kind of like a blonde squirrel. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Hope everybody is well, and a Shabbat Shalom to us all!
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I never did find the mint cookies, but I ran across some hard candy I had forgotten about. I hope the little ratscals didn't already find them. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> They were my favorite kind, too, like girl scout cookies only cheaper.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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I just leaned over on AJ's shoulder, his arm around me, and tried to find my Happy Place. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> In the DOCTOR'S office? <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> t&l
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The doctor's office, the bathroom sink, the whole world is her playground.
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She didn't get it from ME, that's for doggone sure! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />
t&l
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Haha. But I love that a Christian woman has so much ........
What would you call it anyway?????
I have lots of Christian women friends who are so up-tight when it comes to sex with their husbands. We need to enjoy what the Lord has provided.
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I would call it excessive, that's what I would call it! But that's just me. And it has nothing to do with Christianity, either, although I know that religiosity has that effect on some people.
I've never discussed my own sexual issues on this forum, in any thread. My daughters read everything they see that I've written, and even as adults, it's possible to know TOO MUCH about your parents' private lives. Let's just say that, unexpectedly for me, sex became a point of conflict early on, which had some very inhibiting effects on my joyous participation in it.
t&l
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I think part of it is the constant admonishments not to have sex (before marriage). After marriage that stuff sticks in some women's minds. Now it is OKAY to do all those things you tried not to do for 10 years or so.
I'm lucky - for my upbringing (Catholic and Quaker), I ended up with a healthy view on married sex. Now if I just had someone to practice on.
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Neak,
My feeling is that most bad dreams/thoughts come from our fears. Until the fears are gone, they continue.
In your case, it will take time, but is there more AJ, or anyone else can do to help take them away? Think about that one.
The reason singing works is that we can really only think aout one thing at a time, and if you are singing something good, it replaces the bad in your mind.
It only works when you are awake though. So, think about what you fear and why. Knowing WHY might help in your on going fight to be rid of these thoughts.
SS
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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Believer,
I think you are right. We hear NO, NO, NO, NO.
and it is hard to go from that to
YES!
It might be better if we thought of it as
Not yet, Not yet, not yet
and then
Now!
I think it could stand some work.
T&L,
I'm sorry it turned bad early on. We are finding it a beautiful thing, more so than when we were young. Love and trust are the best foundation. Trust plays a bigger part than many think and that is emotional trust. Knowing that we won't be hurt for sharing our selves.
I am leaving for a few days on business, see everyone when I get back.
SS
I hope Neak finds the cookies before someone else does. I'll share the secret of saving cookies at our house. My W puts it in a brown bag, and writes "dad's lunch tomorrow" on anyting she wants to the kids to stay out of. It seems to work.
Who me? No, I'm the nicest guy around? Why do you ask?
I think sometimes about all the pain in the world. I hope we can ease that here, even if only a little bit.
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I'm sorry it turned bad early on. Sigh. My heritages are in conflict. My Explanationarian heritage is waging fierce war with my Inhibitionite heritage. I believe I've arranged a truce between them, and will say this, just once, and then the subject is C-L-O-S-E-D. There's nothing wrong with my body. I don't think there's anything wrong with my head, either, regardless of what opposing opinions you might hear from others. I am as capable of physical satisfaction as the next person (or at least I was back in the days when physical satisfaction was offered <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/rolleyes.gif" alt="" />--one can only assume nothing has changed since!) but there is no emotional component left. I can get a more fulfilling emotional involvement out of scratching a mosquito bite. (Hey! <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/mad.gif" alt="" /> Some of those puppies really, REALLY itch, and scratching them feels so-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o good!) I don't know of any way to restore the emotional missing pieces. Certainly I'm not going to be able to restore them by myself. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/crazy.gif" alt="" /> And without emotional intimacy, as far as I'm concerned, sex is just like scratching another itch. OK, let's go back to being amused, shocked, titillated, or otherwise entertained by Neak's marital, um, exploits. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" /> t&l
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<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/eek.gif" alt="" /> It never occurred to me I would have to specify which Happy Place. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />
Admonishments not to have sex before marriage never slowed me down a bit after. I must have been in the 'not yet' crowd, then NOW!!!!
I do like sex, freely and uninhibitedly. It is a wonderful gift of God. I feel I should somehow acknowledge the soul-baring post above, but since it involves sex and my parents, I find myself curiously speechless.
SS, I will keep thinking, but so far have not come up with any ways yet that anyone can help alleviate my fears, of things that are not already being done, and done well. Give me a little while and I will figure out how to sing in my sleep, though it may wreak havoc with the other members of the household.
2:00 am in the Neak household. All is quiet and dark, and then...
***SAAAAAAAY YOU NEED ME WITH YOU, HEEEEEEEEEEERE BESIDE YOU.......LEEEEEEEEEEEEET ME LEAD YOU FROM YOUR SOLITOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And all the dogs in the neighborhood start howling.
"Wake up, Sweetheart, you're doing it again."
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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