Just what are you trying to insinuate, anyway? Hmmph!

I don't think he's given it another thought - he's too busy thinking about flight training, flight simulators, fixing Neaksis' house, and moving to be bothered with trifles like 'wrong' (?) numbers.

For me it is an irritant, but fairly surface-level. I am just starting with the fastest thing to complain, I mean to vent about.

We did have a very nice talk on the trip, following a long conversation between both of us on speaker phone, and an A-embroiled friend.

The first part of it kind of harked back to the first post on this thread, where he said he noticed everything I did for him, even if he didn't let on. He's a man, so I doubt he really did notice everything, but if he even saw enough to think he knew it all, it was waaaaaaaay more than I thought.

It was a very good time to re-explore a few things with him, and to be comforted and reassured by his continuing disgust for her manipulations and game-playing. He totally sees now that everything I did, Plan A, Plan B, reminding him of his duty to the children, all of it was done from love, trying to save our marriage, and was not a manipulation.

He sees very clearly that she, on the other hand, was doing her best to portray me as a psycho game-player, dishonest to boot, and using the children against him. It was so good to know that his understanding has increased, and I expect that his hindsight will only get clearer with more time.

It was also good to know that his feelings for me are still constant. Let's be honest and admit that for the last 8 months (tomorrow) they have been much more constant than mine. I don't condemn myself for that, because I have made a great effort not to let my changeable feelings affect my actions, and it is a roller coaster, after all, one that he put me on.

Sure there was a bit of spiteful satisfaction mixed in as he went into more detail about stuff he hadn't liked about her, and how I shone in comparison, but it wasn't all malicious. For the most part it was just a happy thing to hear his praise of me, and to realize that all was not the rose-colored paradise for the A that I had pictured.

That latest email was just another nail in the coffin. It made him revolted, not nostalgic.

BTW, I found out that my account will not even charge a stop-payment on the last check that is out, so I can just stop payment, mail a bill-pay check, and have done with that one, too. That way it won't be hanging over my head indefinitely, just waiting for my account to fall 3 cents short. (The bank said there was no expiration date on their checks. Fifty years from now, if the account was still open, they would pay the check. Wow.)

Oh, also, one of our biggest leaks (as far as I can guess, but no absolute proof) just found out today that we're moving, though I was very vague. Well, we DON'T know exactly where, until we have a contract go through with somebody. I don't know how much he has inadvertently given away, but he is one of the few, perhaps the only, of our friends who actually continued to talk to her after I fired her. (<img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/grin.gif" alt="" /> Still makes me smile.) But when he walked in and saw one living room piled 5 feet high with boxes, there was no explaining it away.

I can always tell when he's been talking to her. He acts almost as bad as AJ did. Apparently fog and feelings of disloyalty and deception aren't limitied only to spouses.

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb

Neak's Story