A couple of mildly interesting things have happened. One is an aha! I knew it! and the other was just nice.

AJ told me the other day that he needed to get another toolbox for his tools. Being a girl, I tried to be a little more practical. "Why don't you just put them back in the toolbox you and your brother got? You know, the one with wheels." "Er, hem, well we need to talk about that one. She got it for me, and I need to get rid of it." (Oh, well in that case let's go buy a toolbox, and the bigger the better!)

That toolbox had been a thorn in my flesh for months, ever since it first appeared. I KNEW it was from her. I could almost smell her. Early in recovery I asked him about it, and he said nonchalantly that he and his brother had bought it.

Now we come to find out he thought I meant his other tool box, more of a tub with a snapping lid. His wheeled toolbos had not crossed his mind until shortly after she sent that last email so she was fresher in his mind, and he went out to the garage for something and saw it.

It is such a good thing this did not come up until he had had time to build his trust back more. After he has been honest with me about thousands of dollars, each tool, sexual things, everything I asked him about, I can believe he misunderstood about a $10 tool box.

If, however, back when his trust was -37,591 I had found out it was actually from her and he had tried to tell me, oh, I thought you meant the other toolbox, it would have seemed lame beyond words, and perhaps even been a dealbreaker for me. Now it makes me happy (a little smug, to, for having been right after all), that here is one more evidence that he is still being honest, and handling something related to her by telling me.

Then the other night, we were talking while he drove home from work. I had just gotten off the phone with a friend who has a WS of their own, and had had a phone consultation with Steve Harley. AJ asked me what he had said, and I told him that Steve's big concern was that our friend would lose all love for the WS before the A ended, because of how very very sick our friend has gotten of the whole chaotic alien sitch, and that when the WS was ready to come home, our friend would be too far gone to want to try and recover the marriage.

AJ poured out such a touching apology, saying that he was so sorry that he had done that to me, and hurt me so badly. He thanked me with deepest gratitude for not giving up on him, and letting him have another chance to be my husband. It was very sweet, and completely spontaneous.

Hopefully someone will read this and take heart. Every few days I get another reminder of how far we've come, and if we can do it, so can anyone else.

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb

Neak's Story