Last night AJ triggered me without meaning to, and I doubt he will even remember what he did when I remind him.

I pushed one teeny tiny little button on his computer, that always works fine on mine, and the whole thing froze up in weird shapes. He fussed with it a while, then finally had to cut the power to reboot it.

He was not irritated even, and was just laughing at my techno talent, when he turned to me and said teasingly, "You could mess up a wet dream."

Instantly I was catapulted back to the Wednesday night we went to Tracy to take a uniform shirt to a new employee (this was before he started having Gargamel deliver them all <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/pfft.gif" alt="" />). He needed to get gas, but didn't have his bank card and blamed me. Of course.

I ended up having a card that worked, and put in $30 for him, but he continued to berate me all the way home. (It turned out to be his dumb fault anyway.) He just yelled and yelled, saying things like he didn't even like taking me anyplace now, because I always f****d everything up, couldn't keep track of anything, lost all his stuff, did a p***-poor job of managing the business, and worked up to his grand finale of, "YOU WOULD F*** UP A WET DREAM!!!!!"

I just sat there in the dark and cried. (A Cape of Power would have come in mighty handy about then, but I hadn't even started the fittings.) I had no clue what to say that wouldn't make things worse. So I kept sitting, and kept crying. Except fot the 4 hour tirade after I told him I knew he was still having sex with her, that was the longest and most vicious.

It takes a lot longer to tell than it does to flash in remembrance. I very quickly stifled all urges to maim and destroy, only staggering away with my mind shut down for a few moments. He called me back over, wanting me to play with him (um, games), and had no clue or recollection.

It must be nice to have blocked out so much.

I don't see any sense in bringing up all the details, unless he asks, but when I am calmer about it, I will at least express the thought that that particular phrase brings up some very bad memories, and perhaps he could try to refrain from using it. OR I REFUSE TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR THE CONSEQUENCES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

He is gone overnight working, so I have a little more time to type than usual. Right now I am listening to him unpack his toiletries.

Hope all of you are getting ready for a great weekend. Have you seen the KMart commercial where the little kids are running back and forth on the lawn, and the parents say to each other, "I thought you got the candy." "No, I thought you got the candy." And the kids keep running back and forth.

Those people know me. I demand royalties!

Which reminds me, I talked to a guy at Pacific Press today about the manuscript I submitted, and he says I should hear one way or the other in 3-4 weeks. The supense is almost over. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb

Neak's Story