Neak:

IMO, it is not Ok for you to feel the need to hold back from talking about your resentment towards the FOW. It is helpful to others who are feeling your same feelings. Your feelings ARE WHAT THEY ARE...

Of course, I say this because when I was at your point..I had the same feelings about the FOW....I came on here and vented and got lots of HELP with this...some folks validating my viewpoint..others saying that I needed to move on...

IT DOES TAKE TIME..it did for me..I've come to the conclusion that we are all different and that we move at our own pace..based on our particular situations.

Actually, you've been helpful to me in your discussions about this, making me feel that I am not alone. You got me to thinking. The difference between my H and the OW is that he has asked for my forgiveness, is repentant is truly sorry about what he did..lets me know this often. This is not true of the OW and that's why I have held on to my feelings about her. Recently, I got to thinking... just maybe that the OW is sorry by now. But, the last I heard from her she was calling on my voicemail and calling me the B word, calling my house playing songs for my H to hear (had to change our number AGAIN)...heard her begging my H to leave me...so you see, I am left with a "bad taste in my mouth"....plus, Steve H., himself, referred to her as the "drug dealer" and felt that she would try to get to him if she could..my FWH also seems intimidated by her pull and goes through extreme measures to avoid seeing her or talking to her...HE WANTS TO MOVE OUT OF TOWN...

We had a discussion on here about the books People of the Lie..I decided she was one..and Bold Love..in which the author stated a belief that we are not called as Christians to FORGIVE the unrepentant...I agree with that belief...

So, Neak, let's continue to discuss, My Sister in Recovery...

It will get better....in due time...

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