Being mortal, and having weaknesses, we never really get to where we want to go while in this life. (This is a personal observation, but remember I a only 51. Perhaps you can ask Grand Pa what he thinks.)

It's hard to know sometimes........ what we should live with, and when we ought to set boundaries and demand change.

Outside input can be valuable - those that don't have the investment we have can often see things we can't see.

Prayer, fasting, and quiet meditation help too. These three are very difficult for mothers to come by - especially mothers who have a dervish still at home.

It would help AJ to do these things also. I include scriptue study, and that helps me personally. It's hard to read the lessons of the scriptures and not respond to them. He could listen to books on tape - perhaps while he drives. Not always, but sometimes.

BTW, you do know I am just relating experiences, and making suggestions don't you? I do expect you to filter this into what works best for you. I hope some or all of it is helpful.

Sometimes I don't have time to explain as much as I want. When I said I was worried last year.......... things come through sometimes. You have been positive when good things happen, but quiet (or quieter) in between times. Sometimes it just feels like you are hurting, but it's hard to know what's happening if you are quiet.

It's more difficult to talk in detail to people you know well, and the longer a person is here, the more they feel they know others they talk to. It all factors in.

I almost bet you have avoided talking about things sometimes because you weren't sure if it was normal Male/Female stuff, or if there really was a problem. Meanwhile, you have bad feelings and they don't go away like you think they should.

While outside influences can often see things we can't, they sometimes go about helping in ways that are harmful. Sometimes intervention us good, sometimes not.

Good - when one or the other in a marriage is selfish, and appeasement doesn't work - but it's the method being used.

Bad - when both in the marriage are trying hard, but just not going fast enough for the third party.

Don't fear.

Rely on God to guide you. You know there's help there. Count on it.

Be careful, act wisely. Don't wear yourself out.

From Mark chapter 8 -
"36 For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

Work at full strength, but don't give away too much.

My compliments to the Dervish, but I have to leave now. I hope this day was good for all of you.

SS