We did talk this morning, and you were spot on that there were things he wanted to talk about, too.

For example, when I am trying really hard to be nice and not blow up at him, how I come across to him is that I'm talking down to him and being patronizing.

That was a real surprise, since no such snobbishness was meant.

In our own way, we each were feeling unappreciated.

I think he understands better now how I feel, trying to do this stuff and not getting it all done, and I understand better how it feels for him, that he thinks of and does a lot of nice things for me (even including household stuff when he is home, although there is never such a thing as too much, lol), and it still seemed to be not enough to keep me happy.

He even thought that my upsetness with him was traceable to the other incident I mentioned to you, which is totally not the case.

As to the entitlement thing, I think he just gets used to relying on me for this stuff, and doesn't even think about it. I would like for us to find a happy medium, if possible, somewhere between where we are now, and where we tend to go when the subject comes up, which is, "Fine, then I won't ask you to do anything for me ever again." I enjoy being able to do things for him, but sometimes I can't always get it done, or just plain forget. (I need to get better at asking him to do things to help when I am extra busy. You may not have noticed this, but asking for help does not come second nature to me.)

The long and the short of it is, it is not enough only for us to do a good job meeting each other's EN's; we need to avoid LB's also, just as the good doctor himself says. And we were both surprised at the things that were making withdrawals from the other person.

A little later, he called me up and read the lovely card he had gotten for me, but none of the places he tried to mail it sold stamps. It was very beautiful, and brimming with thankfulness, and he correctly deduced that it was something I needed to hear just then.

So it's a good start. And I am looking forward to him coming home.

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb

Neak's Story