The exchange on LilSis' thread made me remember this - apologies if I told it before.

After AJ told me he was leaving, but before I found out the real reason why, I had a hunch he felt like he was unappreciated. I must have realized that I had been neglecting to express appreciation in the way that he needed.

So, I began a list of all the things I liked about him, some big things, some little things, some silly, some serious.

I had it quite a ways along, but not finished, when I found out he was cheating. Although I continued to be kind and loving, and to show him that I could change, the list kind of got forgotten in the whole drama.

I did not find out until the A was over that he had eventually found the list in the documents on his laptop, and read it. He considered it a real turning point for him. He hadn't known I felt that way about him, and kept thinking about it.

Surely I need not point out that any moment he was thinking of me, he was NOT thinking of Gargamel.

And, most amazing of all, it was one of the few things that made it through to him, in spite of everything, and he remembered it afterwards. So I know it was huge at the time.