A good clue about life - agreed. Our biggest battles are in our own minds.

Sabbath was wonderful! I saw my old 7th-8th grade teacher, who is now almost 82. He was positively delighted to see me, and said several times he would sleep better that night for having seen me. (I went up to Paradise for their alumni weekend thingy, just for lunch and a little bit of the afternoon.) It was what you could call "an high day". <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

My personal recovery is coming along, not perfectly, but well overall.

My main frustrations/concerns:

My lack of concentration. Hands down #1 thing that bothers me. My mind is like buckshot. But far better buckshot than even a short time ago. So I trust it will continue to get better, even if I wish it already were done.

Triggers and still some extreme startle reflexes. Mostly just annoying, but there on the radar.

Contact attempts from Certain People. This is not huge for me, but since even all this time later, every so many months something has happened, it is there in the back of my mind. Having changed all AJ's email addys now, the only avenues open that I can think of are snail mail and physically tracking him down. So I feel better on the one hand, because it would be so hard for her to get anything through, and on the other hand I feel worse because if (and I do say if) she is still determined enough, she could get to him in person. Even if he handled it correctly on his end (I believe he would - just as he has done with all the other attempts that he found first), it would still be hard.

Still, I am doing very well. Mostly happy, getting healthier, enjoying the tender treatment I get from my H. (And on those few occasions where he is grumpy, enjoying having some normal problems to work out.)

He came home for a little bit, and the Dervish and I go out with him tomorrow for a quick run to Washington. (We were supposed to leave tonight, but the bed grabbed ahold of him and wouldn't let go. So we are leaving right after the kids head off to school.)

Warning: possible TMI ahead. He told me this morning, "When I get home, you'd better not say a word. Just walk into the house and start taking off your clothes." <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/blush.gif" alt="" />

It soothes me even yet to be so eagerly wanted, and he is unrecognizable now as the man who turned so coldly away from my kisses. And my hugs. And all gestures of affection. It is hard to believe I am talking about the same person; he loves me so much now.

I guess that would sum up the marital recovery front...not perfect, nothing ever is, but so much good! He continues to put out a great deal of effort, and I am grateful for it.

I'll let you know how Washington was. <img src="/ubbt/images/graemlins/smile.gif" alt="" />

A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb

Neak's Story