Well an eventful 24hrs after confronting her about her continued secrecy and lies, and that she had deleted text messgaes from my phone and files from my computer that exposed the affair. Her story has flip flop more than I can remember but she is sticking to her guns that "how will it help" knowing the facts, anyway argument ended with her "going for a walk" which was a pretence to making a claim at the local police station of violent asault - I did grab her arm nothing else. Released this morning no charges - thank GOD.

I think she may have done this to avoid me confronting her lover to warn him off.

I am fairly confident that the affar has ended - but scared it has not.

My wife starts work again tomorrow after the Easter break and will be at the organisation where they met, which is a large univercity complex with many sites. Theorethically they can not meet unless they arrange it as public transport is involved. I am worried he may make a move because at home it has been easyer to keep an eye on things but once she out the door she is out.

How can I trust someone that can not be honest, I feel I need to spy on her until some small glimmer of trust sparks again.

Her attitude is to gloss over the affair, while I feel I need ful disclosure to move on we are at an empasse. She has cried and beg for forgiveness but I do not yet know what I am forgiving her for.

I will stop arguing as it makes for a crappy home enviroment for my child, my wifes mother and my father all who live with us.

I will impliment plan A and see if any discent emotions can be ignited in my WW.

Thankyou for your words I apreciate that people who have never met me have taken time to help.