Originally Posted by Geeman
I am fairly confident that the affar has ended - but scared it has not.
You should be scared, because it most likely has not.
She has erased everything up to now, she will be more careful from here on in.
Write down everything you can remember that you saw. Do it now so it is as fresh as possible.

You need to expose this A to other man's wife and family, your wife's family, and the university where the two of them work.

You need to do this today.

How can I trust someone that can not be honest, I feel I need to spy on her until some small glimmer of trust sparks again.
No, you cannot trust her, at all. Yes, you need to spy on her, snoop around the house, her belongings, everything.

Find out as much as you can about the other man. The other man's wife (OMW) will be able to help you break up this A, since she will most likely want to save her M too. OMW will be your friend, she has to know.

Her attitude is to gloss over the affair, while I feel I need ful disclosure to move on we are at an empasse. She has cried and beg for forgiveness but I do not yet know what I am forgiving her for.
You do not forgive her for anything right now. She has not earned this.

I will stop arguing as it makes for a crappy home enviroment for my child, my wifes mother and my father all who live with us.
Stop arguing and start doing the things that need to be done now.

I will impliment plan A and see if any discent emotions can be ignited in my WW.
Geeman, Plan A without busting up the A will only mean that your wife has you for her H and OM for her lover.

Do you understand all that has been said to you?

M'd 22 years
D-Day 08/08 LTA