I would say you need to earn the divorce. How do you do that? Glad you asked. Read the artilces on this site and then start removing the love busters. Find out what her needs are and start meeting those. Read Harley's four rules for a good marriage and start practicing them, they are really simple.

Talk to your W about how you feel and that you want to try and rebuild the marriage and then give it 6 months or so of effort. Effort undertaken without regard to how she responds.

Then sit down and evaluate. Are you seeing baby steps toward a better marriage? Are you seeing your W notice you more? Are things changing?

You'll know what decision to make then.