Let me use the example of my very eccentric MIL versus my 96 yr old grandmother.

My meticulous, Dutch grandmother drives cars for 20-25 years and they always look as perfect after 20 years as they do when brand new. She takes exceptional care of her vehicles so they last forever and look great. She has them detailed and professionaly waxed 1x a year. She changes the oil and rotates the wheels on a strict maintenance schedule. Her cars are always in perfect condition. She gets TOP DOLLAR when she sells them.

Fast forward to my very eccentric MIL. She has owned 10+ cars in the 10 yrs I have been married to her son. She never changes the oil, never washes them, never rotates the tires, lets them pile up in side with trash. They quickly fall apart. And it is always the car's fault, of course. She doesn't understand that it is her mistreatment and neglect that is the problem.

It is the same with marriages. People astonishly believe that a good marriage happens by MAGIC after they neglect it for years. It is the NEGLECT that causes one to fall out of love.

Since FEELINGS FOLLOW ACTIONS, soon enough they fall out of love because who can love a spouse who is angry and withdrawn and indifferent and disrespectful after years of abuse and neglect? Both spouses act in ways that erode love and then wonder why they are...........not in love.