Melody - thank you! I think so too! The IC is convinced that she will help him heal and then he will be good for the M. She said to him "you aren't good for anybody right now, including yourself." While this is true, dredging all this stuff up for the past 6 months hasn't really helped him or us.

They don't even focus on the A. They do focus on his trauma and PTSD, the consequences of his A decisions - job loss, loss of reputation, loss of friends, almost lost marriage, legal impacts, etc. She does hold him accountable for his A and the bad decisions he made.

But it seems to stop us from moving forward as well as we could. The MC is helping. She uses MB principles and she specializes in infidelity. She is helping him learn to help me heal, but also helping us both to develop a better M.

Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!