I will dissent to a degree. Only in that YOUR most important issue is your MARRIAGE, whereas he lives within himself 24/7 and you have no real idea what he thinks about nor what he feels in any given day or time.

While I absolutely agree that for MARRIAGE COUNSELING, dredging up the past is of little use. The real issue for HIM is that he might have some crap running around in his brain which has stopped him from relating to the world in general in a productive way. And while I agree that Cognitive Behavioral Therapy is the best way to deal with it, simply ignoring that HE has issues in order to get your MARRIAGE back where you want it is self-centered.

You might see the marriage as the biggest issue... He might see his LIFE as the biggest issue.

I absolutely agree that MB principles make the most sense. But don't get caught on what YOU perceive as the thing you want solved most as being the only thing of consequence. I absolutely agree that there are a TON of crap counselors out there who don't really understand how to improve a person's life in a realistic way. I absolutely believe that there is alot of crap psychology/psychologists out there as well. He might need something different, all I am saying is don't discount what HE needs for himself in an effort to gain from him what is most important to you.