I am ordering the book today, thanks Melody!

He is seeing the IC because he realized the A was all his fault and he wanted to "fix what is wrong." He is an unhappy, angry person who how felt entitled. He doesn't have a good moral compass. He doesn't take responsibility for his actions, and doesn't know how. He has trouble making friends. He is very self-centered and selfish.

In his attempts to be O and H, he gave written permission for the IC and our MC to talk and share information. I also went to IC with him once, to meet her and ask any questions I wanted. The IC and MC said he is very wounded, doesn't know how to be empathetic and is learning, and is making progress towards taking responsibility and being less self-centered.

The IC flat out said that our M and the A are not her concern. Her concern is getting my H healthy. The behaviors he had which damanged the M and let to do the A are her concern.

This is all so confusing. Thank you all for helping me make sense of it.

Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!