Originally Posted by ChrisInNOVA
[You can't have a healthy marriage with an individual who is psychologically unhealthy.
For example, take a person who is addicted to drugs or alcohol, clinically depressed, schizophrenic, or bipolar and try to have a GOOD MARRIAGE with them. What do you think you'll experience?

Chris, her husband is none of the above. He is going to counseling in an attempt to resolve his childhood problems BEFORE he works on his marriage; a collosal waste of time. NOWHERE does Dr Harley tell people to go to a counselor to resolve their childhood problems. In fact he CLEARLY STATES right here:

"Some counselors think it's a good idea to "resolve issues of the past" by talking about them week after week, month after month, year after year. It keeps these counselors in business, but does nothing to resolve the issue. In fact, it usually makes their poor clients chronically depressed.

My experience as a Clinical Psychologist has proven to me that dredging up unpleasant experiences of the past merely brings the unhappiness of the past into the present. The problems of the present are difficult enough to solve without spending time and energy trying to resolve issues of the past, which are essentially unresolvable. You can make your future happy, but you can't do a thing about bad experiences of the past, except think and talk about them -- and that makes the bad experiences of the past, bad experiences of the present." Dr. Willard Harley

While he does advocate getting help via anti-depressants, he DOES NOT tell anyone they need to go to an IC to yap about their childhoods in order to resolve current problems. That is just a distraction and a diversion that keeps the person DEPRESSED.

And keep in mind that Dr Harley is much more credentialed than a "counselor." He is a psychyologist.

And secondly, people who are addicted to drugs or alcohol DO NOT benefit from IC; it is a WASTE OF TIME. Counselors are not qualified to help addicts. In fact, counselors come to AA and NA for their own addictions. They call we AA members to take their clients to meetings. What they benefit from is 12 step programs that focus on changing CURRENT BEHAVIOR.

Many of us have been brainwashed into believing we have to get "counseling" to discuss childhood problems in order to be happy as adults. That is nonsense. Anyone who believes that, needs to treat themselves to the book I recommended above - One Nation Under Therapy by Christina Hoff Sommers and Sally Patel, M.D. - that outlines how the counseling culture in the US has harmed people, rather than helped them.

"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101