If the anger is reducing over time, then you are pretty normal! It's just pretty average to hit that one-year anniversary point and see a surge in anger and resentment. Sorry to have to tell you that - but it is the truth.

The two-year point is much better - I found myself more reflective at the 2 yr point. The anger died down - maybe because my H had more time to help me heal and payback work done by then. Also, I had done more internal work and reduced triggers and increased understanding by then, too.

Stay with the MB program - you will get through this. On d-day, you need to make sure you will be busy doing something you love to do. Don't be idle, don't make that day some special day to mourn.

Your husband ultimately will look back and completely understand what has happened - and he will take responsibility. You need to understand that your recovery patterns are very different. You are recovering from the trauma, and he is recovering from internal issues. He has devastated his own life, his family's lives, and his marriage - he has a great deal of internal reflection to do, lots of repentance, and lots of restitution. It takes time to figure out these types of issues - he has a great deal of work to do, and although sometimes as BS's we believe that the WS's get off "scot free", the truth is that they have internal struggles that are difficult and deep.

Can you imagine doing what he has done? Can you imagine inflicting this type of pain on someone you love, and then, trying to make up for this?
Can you imagine what might go through your own mind when you turn out the lights and try to sleep - after you have done this to your spouse and children?
Can you imagine trying to figure out why the he// you did this? Why you didn't stop when you could have, should have?

Like I said...the WS does not get off so easily.

Hang in there.


Lucky to be where I am, in a safe place to get marriage-related support.
Most recent D-day Fall 2005
Our new marriage began that day. Not easily, but it did happen.