somebody, I am very sorry all this has happened to you and your child.

As you already know, if your marriage is going to recover, it will be crucial for your husband to break off contact with the OW for life.

And as SugarCane says, in order to do that, your husband should NOT take a paternity test unless court ordered and should not support the child unless court ordered. He should simply write her a letter just like Dr. Harley describes in Surviving an Affair, ending the relationship for good and insisting that she never contact him again. If he is forced to take a paternity test and forced to support the child financially then your marriage can still recover, but he should not try to have contact with the child or the OW.

If your husband isn't willing to do this, then there is no way your marriage can recover, and your best bet is to get a divorce attorney who can make sure he pays you child support, and build a new life where you simply don't see or talk to him any more.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 17 years, who is a beautiful angel.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.