Yes of course you are feeling terrible. The realisation of how awful things have become has hit you like a train. At the same time your brain is madly rewriting the history of your relationship in the light of what you now know. Be kind to yourself during this process, it does end. Doing this does not make you weak! If you were weak you would not be here.

He is throwing you dog biscuits with holidays and cars but in a buyer relationship that would never happen. All decisions, how to spend money and time, jobs, houses and hobbies are made jointly. My husband would never so much as buy a shirt without talking to me about it first and he is the breadwinner.

BF does not want to lose his family and that is your most powerful weapon. The fight was a symptom not a cause. He has always done whatever he wanted but what is different is that now you have had enough.

If you can safely leave the kids with him, why not go and stay at Mum's? Each day that you stay in your current situation makes things a little harder to put right. Eventually you will hate him so much that you cannot bear the sight of him, let alone have a romantic marriage with him.

Sounds as if he is avoiding you because he knows what is coming. Disappearing for the evening was supposed to threaten you. Be strong.


3 adult children
Divorced - he was a serial adulterer
Now remarried, thank you MB
(formerly lied_to_again)