My husband and I have been married for almost eight years. We have had our ups and downs but for the most part had a good marriage. Six months ago he started talking to this woman on the internet. At first I didn't think anything of it. Then things started to change. I told him not to talk to her anymore. We had a fight and I went to my sisters. When I can back I found out he had had phone sex with her. I told him then that I didn't want him talking to her anymore. He promised me that he wouldn't. That was four months ago. He would stay up all night on the computer instead of coming to bed with me. He told me he was just surfing and chatting a little with some friends he had met on the net. I believed him. Last week I found out that all this time he had been talking to her and lying to me about it. He then told me he wanted to leave me for her. He was getting ready to leave and then decided not to because I started to cry. Then he got real depressed because he didn't. He now says that he wants to work things out with me but I think that is only because she now doesn't want anything to do with him. She thinks he lied to her. We are white and she is a black lady. He says he loves her. He also says that he has always had a thing for colored women. Our sex life has suffered a great deal. I can't trust him and I don't know how to get over it. I feel like honesty and trust is a big thing in a marriage. ANd if you don't have that there isn't much.