Those painful dishonest e-mails are actually a gold mine if you look at it another way.<P>How would like for him to be so addicted to YOU that he talks to you throughout the night. He's proven his capacity to be addicted, why don't you become his drug?<P>No, you don't have to become a black woman like his fantasy. Frankly, I think that's just a cop out by him. There is some characteristic about them that excites him. Perhaps he imagines that they are easier to talk to, he can be more explicit in his language, perhaps he feels that he is sexier to a black woman than he is to you so it boosts his self-confidence.<P>Bottom line: you have a huge library of information on how to hook him for life and you didn't even have to type any of it. She did you a favor.<P>You know, in sports/business/warfare or most anything, the old saying goes "in order to win, take what they give you". Your husband is who he is. You can't change that. Use his weaknesses to get your needs met. I think if he were as obsessed with you as he was with all of that destructive stuff, you'll feel a whole lot better about everything.<P>Become an expert on figuring out what it is in all those e-mails that got him so committed to wanting her. Discover the secret to his motivation and thinking creatively to see if you can find a way to meet his needs in a way that is enjoyable to you.<P>Try it!<BR>