Internet infidelity, I believe, is one of the hardest challenges a marriage can ever have to overcome. My wife and I have been married for 12 years. 4 years ago, my sister took ill. Later we found out she had AIDS. While she was dying, my wife started chatting with a man on the internet. It turned out he lives about 3 blocks from our house. About 6 months after my sister passed away they decided to meet for sex, and met several times after that. My wife claims that it was just a "thrill" to do something behind my back, and that the sex really didn't mean anything. She betrayed me at the time in my life when I needed her the most, and continued the affair through our "Second Honeymoon" cruise. Although I suspected she was fooling around (I even followed her a couple of times, but she went where she said she was going) I could never bring myself to beleive that she would actually do it. The last 3 years of our marriage was a sham. She treated me like something she'd stepped in, and I kept trying to make her love me by doing everything I could think of to make her happy. My own unhappiness was growing and I took refuge in talking to a woman I work with, who also needed a friendly ear. Although we never slept together, we did have an intimate relationship. My wife intercepted an email from her, and called her to tell her to "Leave her husband alone" It was on this night that she admitted her affair to me, claiming that though she hadn't formally ended it, she had decided to stop seeing him. She also said that had she not thought that I was having an affair that she would not have told me. Now, with the background out of the way, here's the questions. If someone can make plans to have sex with a complete stranger, how can they ever be trusted not to take up with someone they know and do find attractive? She says that won't happen because she doesn't want to lose her family. Is fear of losing her family a legitimate reason for not having an affair? Will I ever be able to let her leave the house without wondering if she's going to meet someone she shouldn't. The witch that was living here the last four years has gone away for now... but will she come back? Finally, will the watermelon that appeared in my stomach when she told me ever completely disappear? It's been 3 months now, and things are better between us than they have been in a long time. Forgiveness is the easy part... allowing yourself to trust your spouse again is the real battle. I'm still fighting it, I only hope that I don't lose the war in the meantime...