Jill,<P>I think it is most definetly different for all of us. Especially those who have a hard time giving up the marriage. We all try to save it but some people just hang on harder even after they know that there really may be no hope.<P>At some point, you come to realize its final. When that happens, you start to notice other people walking by and actually thinking, hey, he's handsome. You start to find yourself again. You stop "obsessing" over the ex.<P>Sometimes, I think I obsess at times just cause he is so far into a relationship that I get a little jealous. The OW quit her job and now stays home while he supports her (a luxury I never had) so she can put her son on the bus every morning. I am not happy about that. I know its none of my business but it bugs me to no end.<P>I think that if you are seriously questioning this you might want to talk to a doctor. Sometimes we need some help talking to a professional or even some medicine to help us along (another luxury I couldn't get) but I hear that it makes a BIG difference as well.<P>In the meantime, try to take time for you. Think back to what made you happy before you met HIM. And I KNOW that something out there made you happy. Reconnect with your girlfriends. Take a bath, pamper yourself, buy some new clothes, take a walk, think of something that will remind you that you were fine before he came and guess what, your going to be just as good now that he is gone. <P>You'll find your way. We all do, it just takes some of us longer!<P>Hugs and Prayers, Dana<BR>