For me,the marriage is emotionally over, if not legally. H is living with his new woman,kids have accepted her. H has no contact with me at all and refuses to communicate in any way even if only about visitation issues about youngest child! <P>when he saw me the other day in a mall, he turned around and ran away! <P>Because nothing makes sense emotionally, I also obsess of why this really does not make sense. I think that there could have been closure for me had <BR>a)he dealt with this as an adult...faced up to the reality of the choice he made and still been prepared to support his former family as he needed to and accepted the parental responsibilities as he needed to for his childrens sake.<BR>b)realize the mess he was making of his life, never mind about the 4 children and myself.The difference is that we will learn, digest, process and grow as people, he never will<P>Until there is some sort of closure and he does not run from me as if I did something wrong, there will not be closure for me!<P>Until he stops playing the kids, there will be no closure for me<P>Until he realizes that this is not a game, with the children as pawns, then there cannot be closure for me.<P><BR>So,Yes I do think an awful lot......but I am able to smile again and do things for myself in terms of starting to rebuild my new future in a way that makes sense for me as a person.<P>