<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by ilmf:<BR><B> Bijzonder,<P>The first half of that is so wrong it's warped.<P>The second half of it is so correct, it's misapplication in that sentence makes it almost a comical incongruency.<P>In a marriage a couple makes a vow to be one-another's fulfillment. That goes a lot farther than sexually, but this is what's at issue here.<P>Any failure to honor a vow is UNFAITHFULNESS.<BR>Unfaithfulness and infidelity are synonyms. Adultery is only ONE "method" of infidelity. I say that last, over adultery because there are a few bitter-thinkers out there that seem to think that faithfulness in marriage is only confined to the exclusion of all others from elements of the relationship. But that's only one of the commitments of marriage. . . there are a host of other things that wives and husbands are both obligated to do and to be for one-another.<P>Sure marriage does require the exclusion of all others. . . But it's not just about that. It is the mutual INCLUSION of one-another, to be the one sure safe-haven, a friend, a companion - someone to just feel comfortable around, and . . . sex. (ack!)<P>Sins of omission are not as easily detectable, and since they are the commissions of nothings, then there is nothing evidently manifest from them. Since that is the case, the guilty party of them can consider themselves as, and even be regarded as beyond reproach. But God knows what is in the heart.<P>Eden does not have to "give" her husband sex every day. I submit that she should rarely ever just "give" him sex but that she and he should share in it. He has a responsibility too, in this - that he be considerate and not expect sex at inconvenient times, or if she is not feeling well, etc. That sort of thing is something that they will have to work out if they can.<P>But Bijzonder, your bitter counsel is hurtful to someone who might actually be trying to make a marriage work. Statements like "wives shouldn't have to ______" are too easily countered by similar statements like "husbands shouldn't have to ______". Husbands and wives should not withhold things, and they should not "give" things begrudgingly, because then it is no gift at all (and it's not hard to tell, when that is the case).<P>Wives DO have to _________<BR>and. . .<BR>Husbands DO have to _________<BR>. . . whether it's sex, or anything else.<P>Anything less, and the vows are already broken - unfaithfulness has been committed through the ugly, hypocritical sin of omission.<P>"I" for one really haven't a clue how Eden and her husband are to fix their problem. But I certainly do hope that they can. And it is always encouraging to me to see a couple survive a struggle and succeed - it's nearly as encouraging as it would be if they never struggled at all.<P>God bless you Eden, I hope it can be resolved, and that your husband gets his head on straight. And whatever part you may have, same also. Try to succeed.<P>God bless you too, Bijzonder - but shame on you for that bitter counsel. I'm guilty of saying bitter things, but never-ever that would set strife between another wife & husband.</B><HR></BLOCKQUOTE><P>ilmf,<P>AMEN, AMEN, and AMEN again!!!<P>Sexual unfaithfulness isn't the only betrayal of marriage vows. It's not even the first, usually. But it sure gets all the airtime! [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]<P>