LonelySoul,<P>You are so right. That is probably it. although I do think that Om loved me. I just cant beleive that he doesnt care what I go through here. <BR>I am on teh raod to recovery. I ended it jan 1. I confessed to H. I hadnt had contact until last week. Take my advice. DO NOT MAKE CONTACT EITHER!!!!!!!! You will be back at square one. I thought I was strong enough to handle it. IM NOT!!!<BR>H and I are doing well. He is the man of my dreams now. So holld on to hope if you think there is any.<P>Prayers<BR>Renee