I think that it most definitely happened for a reason!!! You know it too....just look at how you and H are coming along.<P>Would you both be where you are (even this soon in rebuilding) if this experience didn't occur? Would you have found MB and learned about what is really needed for a good relationship? <P>It's a rebirth - take advantage of it by learning, understanding and implementing all the tools that Dr Harley has provided on this site. NO couple can go wrong with this advice when they both use it......I think it should be taught in school and then we all wouldn't get ourselves into these messes to begin with!!! LOL!!!<P>My story...I am basically just like your OM's wife. My H had undisclosed problems and looked elsewhere for solutions. <P>I tried all I knew to get some honesty from him - for years!!! Then I found MB and I discovered that until he decides to face himself and his issues - NO relationship will work for him.<P>I love my H - he is a good person with a messed up mind. He avoids, runs and clears his conscience by blaming and ignoring. Until he stops jumping around looking for his "happiness" and starts looking at himself - he will stay in his mess!!<P>He has filed for divorce and has a certain OW (and other laydies) pulling him along. He jumps from absolute disgust of me to wanting to be with me in 10,20 years.....and keeps saying how "wonderful" our relationship will be when we are divorced.<P>Now, HE'S NUTS!!!! LOL!!! Just call him the Whack-A-Doodle!!!<P>So you see, people have to face themselves, they have to be honest and truly understand what drives them to do the things they do. Until they can do that with themselves and the ones they love.....nothing will work.<P>You are going to be fine Renee....<P>Hugs,<P>Sheba