Renee -<P>Calm down woman!!! Take some deep breaths....<P>Take a step back from your "hurting and anger" for a moment..<P>What is it that you really want answers for?<P>Is it: <BR>Why does he not hurt like I do? <BR>Why doesn't he suffer from his wife and others knowing the truth? <BR>Why the hell did I do this? <BR>Why did I think I loved this guy and why did I think he loved me? <BR>Why the heck am I thinking about his problems when I am trying to fix my own?<P>If so - here's some answers:<P>Because he didn't feel that "love" the same way you did.<BR>Because he is not willing to face what he has done and is a coward.<BR>Because you were in need of something and did not know what else to do to get that need filled.<BR>You NEEDED to feel loved and you were ripe to accept his offerings...It is all part of the fantasy of infidelity. All you saw was what you needed - he saw what he wanted!!<BR>Your thinking about his end of things because you need to believe that you were not used..that you could never do that to yourself.<P>Do these come close to what you are feeling?<P>How about changing to:<P>How much have I learned about myself, my husband and our marriage through this?<P>What led to my feelings of loneliness and despair in the first place?<P>Have I shared what my view of the problems were with H and have we come to a better understanding of each other's needs?<P>What will it take to keep us on the right track with our communication so that something like this never happens again?<P>How lucky am I that the events unfolded this way and I am so fortunate to have a husband I can tell the truth to and how good of a person am I that I can be honest?<P>Which set of answers do you think would benefit you more? Or which do you need more?<P>You are a good person, Renee - no need to go down any vengeance trail. Humans can make choices. You have made a very good one in being true to yourself and keeping an honest character. <P>That's a good thing....I, for one, am very proud of you for that. What an accomplishment in a world where "only live once" is the motto for doing something we know is wrong and would end up hurting us.<P>BIG HUGS, Prayers and Strength,<P>Sheba <BR>