inamess,<P>Just wanted you to know that I can relate to EVERYTHING you are saying...the desire to emotionally hurt the OM, the anger over feeling rejected and used and thrown away...all of it! I too went through major withdrawal and felt like the OM could care less. After he told me he loved me and was his best friend I couldn't understand how he could so easily just walk away with NEVER speaking to me again. There were SO many times I wanted to contact him...sooooo many. But, I knew that it would only hurt me more. So, I suffered through the hurt and those urges to contact him dwindled.<P>My husband knew about the affair and he was great in allowing me to just about "cry on his shoulder" over the OM...that's real love right there.<P>I know now, although I still think of the OM and sometimes still wish I would have had a chance to have the "affair" die a natural death, that my husband is really the better man for me. <P>Please know that you aren't alone in your feelings and things will get better...just give it time and NO CONTACT.<P>Pam