Lotsofhope,<P>I can tell you this for sure. The main thing is, that your there for her. Right now this is hell for her. I know you cant imagine why she has these feelings for OM. He lied and rejected her. That makes it even harder. My OM w didnt find out. She doesnt know yet. <BR>All your w is thinking right now is all the good things that she and Om had. He probably found her at the most vulnerable time in her life. When you are lonely and vulnerable, you can only see what you are starving for. I am a firm beleiver in that. My Om knew I was vulnerable. HE took advantage of it to. <P>It has been 4 months since I ended the affair. I am starting to have the feelings for H. I am starting to fall in love with him again. He to is in the same position you are in. She will get those feelings for you back. When she does you will probably be thankful for the OM. Atleast my H is. My H said he never doubted my love for him. However, I never gave him what I do now. My H is so happy right now. He says he doesnt think he has been this happy ever in our marriage. <P>I did make contact with OM. I had a dream about him the night before and that always makes it worse. She has to be strong. Let her learn from my mistake. NO CONTACT AT ALL. She will think that she is strong enough to call him up and see how he is. She will not be strong enough. I know your thikning how can you ladies do that? I really cant answer that. Except for the fact they fed us what we had been starving for, for years. This is an addiction. I was so addicted that I didnt know what way was up. We are into stock and alot of business things. I was putting all that I had worked for and earned on the line for this CREEP. All OM and his W had was a house. I had alot of investments on the line. Not to mention 2 houses and one that we where building. That was how bad it was. I thought I was so in love. And I was in love. But now I can see that I would have probably been in love with anyone that met my needs.<P>This is a very hard road for the both of you. Especially her. I know that for a fact. Not to say this isnt harder for you. I just know what it is like to love your H. But be inlove with another man. He has filled her mind with all this garbage. He just said everything that she wanted you to say. I can just about promise that. <P>Fill me in on your situation. How long has she been in withdrawal? How long has the affair been in the open? Did she confess to you?<P>Prayers are with you<BR>Youll be so happy you done this!<BR>Renee [Linked Image from marriagebuilders.com]