Missjasmine:<p>"I should know better anyway tha theres no talking to a BS who is hurt... I can understand that."<p>Well, lets just sweep all BS's into a basket.... hurt, bitter, over reacting. Obviously BS's feelings have no merit. Is that what is being said here? I've been avoiding this threat because it's obvious that there is a gross lack of respect for the BS point of view. Perhaps that's why it's so easy to lie to the BS in your own life?<p>There also seems to be a very basic lack of understanding and respect for the MB principles. If you are not going to follow the MB principles, they why be on this web site? Radical honesty, care and protection are the corner stones on which MB is built. I'm not saying you have to be honest with your husband. That is your choice just as your affair and anything want to do is. But without radical honesty you are not in recovery in the MB sense. You are still in the pre-recovery state.

BRW,
Just remember, don't be too hard on yourself. Just because I said those words dosn't mean I don't think of OM and how I should continue to handle things. Its a plan that I have to implemment and I hope I do have the strength. Its like an alcoholic, just because they stop drinking, dosn't mean they don't taste, smell, feel or desire the stuff......... even after many years they have thier withdrals, but acknowlegement is the key to our choices........... wish I would have followed that in the first place. But, I have faith in you.. Also, remember "Time" is a healer [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] Take care and I'll be thinking of you. For now I'll continue to read and learn......... <p>MissJ...... [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img]

MissJasmine,
Read and Learn! That is very well spoken and the point of being here. I wish you all the luck in the world. You care deeply for your family inspite of it all and I hope all of the pieces fall into place over time.
The other thing we need to do is "listen" to others and to ourselves. You are doing that and you have made a decision to act on that.
Keep the faith.
Brw
[img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Zoroweb, I'm sorry but you misunderstood my comment totally! First of all, I feel for BS becuase my spouse of course certainly would be where you are. In no way, did he deserve this and I am at the mercy of him even though he dosn't know it. And I don't blame him one bit if he were to throw me out or want nothing to do with me. I would stand in his presence ashamed of what I did. This is where I am now, and hope that in the upcoming months I will decide what I will do. I have been reading alot here and wanted to comment to BRW no one else. So I do understand your pain, and becuase I'm not ready to disclose or even think I will, I cannot talk to a BS because it wouldn't work for me in my state. Thats what I meant............ for whatever its worth..<p>2long.... I have read some of your posts and want to say I am truly sorry for what you have been going through. I don't blame you one bit for your feelings toward OM, as my H (and i know him well) would want to hurt us both. Thats why I am so fearful to tell H. And your right, maybe I should just leave but you know.... its not easy. I realize now after (fog), that what I've done is a really unjustly thing and its really bothering me the more I am not in contact with OM. Its been almost a month 1/2 with no contact. You said your W still wants contact? I don't see how especially after so many years. She really does need to delete everything from him(email), throw everything he's given her if any, because it causes you so much pain and discomfort. Your a good man to stand by her that way. I would give anything if my H would forgive me. But I know I would have to put him through so much pain.... anyway, I will keep you what said in mind as I continue to find my way........<p>Thank you all!