my husband had an A that ended a month ago. he says he doesn't think we should be married anymore because for last 2 years he has struggled with being in love with me. <p>what does a girl to do when her husband says he is not in-love with her anymore?

Heenie,
As you know, I'm in much the same situation.
I don't have any answers, but I will pray for you and your marriage. I share your pain with you.
God bless.
KK

<blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr>Originally posted by heenie:
<strong>what does a girl to do when her husband says he is not in-love with her anymore?</strong><hr></blockquote><p>Heenie,
Re-writing your M history is part of the fog.<p>What you do is IGNORE it!!! They ALL say they "haven't loved you" or "Don't love you anymore" or think "Marrying you was a big mistake" or you're "just not compatible" or "It will be better for the kids"<p>See? It's all just FOG TALK. Or sometimes we refer to it around here as "Moose Brain Worms" infecting their brains. Sometimes it's just plain ALIENS taken up residence in them. IGNORING it, and going on about your business until the Mothership releases them is the best thing you can do. DON"T try to make any sense to it, cuase it doesn't make any sense!!!<p>You'll be fine. Just concentrate on YOU for now, and heal YOURSELF. If you are doing Plan A, stick to it. NO LB'ers. You'll get through this.<p>God Bless,

Hi Heenie,<p>We played a game about what to do in situations like this a few months ago. In this game, the participants were asked to come up with the word of what they should do. <p>Answer: Do Nothing.<p>Lupo is right. This is H babble. <p>RE: If he was 'falling out of love' with you for 2 years. Why did it take an A to do something about it? Why not just leave or get help? <p>Nope, too many other reasons and too many irrational behavior patterns. Some excuses are even stretched out farther. Mine told me, he never loved me (we have been married almost 12 years). News to me. I then asked when was that true, when we were dating, when he proposed, when we got married, which day after the honeymoon........ That line of questioning (to find the logic) brought out the truth that he was not speaking the truth but was confused. Ok, I can work with confused.....because I was not confused. Then I said, if you are confused and I am not which one of us would it be better to give the help vs need the help? Ws replied, you are better to give the help. <p>Ahhh....... out of the mouth of the Ws comes a bit of logic. With that in hand, I started to make progress. Remember I was not to control him but he now realized he was not in a good frame of mind to tell me what to do or babble about the not in love stuff as such. <p>In fact, I got angry at him and said, then why did you wait sooo long to tell me?!?!? He admitted that was not true. <p>See? You either talk to the babble and dismiss the babble but never ever believe the babble or the babbler's voice, until he can speak logically. <p>
JMHO,
L.

thanks for a bit of clarification on others who talk like this.<p>but i am 8 months pregnant and today i am filing for legal separation. he is constantly worried about the $ and i am afraid i won't get enough to take care of me and the kids through this.<p>my way of taking care of me is i have moved in with my dad-8hours from home. it is too devestating to live with him and hear these things. i can't sleep, eat and am a terrible, grumpy mom to my son. (i am on anti-depressants)<p>i know this is probably not the route MB would take but i have read SAA and emotionally cannot do plan A anymore.<p>heenie<p>m=5 yrs
son=4, daughter=due in june
d-day=4-20-02