And I give credit to marriage builders and my friends here too.

Wow I feel like I just got slammed!
I am sorry if I offended you BR, it was not my intention. I just see spiritual warfare for what it is. When a person stands up for the word of God, and makes a statement of faith as BA has, she is bound to get opposition, because satan hates that! I truly believe that if God gave BA the direction to send that letter, that she did the right thing, satan does not want us to do the right thing. I am not saying that you are a "tool of satan", he uses all of us when he can. I don't really see that she was judging in that letter, but standing firm in the belief she has, and I am not judging you! You have had your own stuff to deal with, as we all do. I was just trying to enourage BA , not put you down, if it sounded like that, I'm sorry.
Each person has their own journey with the Lord, and each one of us makes mistakes, I would never call myself self righteous, I am human like everyone else, and know it. I have an awesome relationship with the Lord, and although I am no where near where He wants me to be, I have come a long way. I feel that He directs me in my life and has given me discernment when it comes to spiritual warfare. I have been under attack many times, and recognize it, because of the minstry I am in and the stand I take. God knows I have things to deal with still, but He is still working on me...
As far as my waiting, it is God I am waiting on...
His promises to me and my situation, is between Him and me, it may be like no one elses, and that's ok. I need not explain it to you, I know what the truth is in my heart.
Take a good look at the post you have written, do you not feel that you have been judgemental toward me??
I am not perfect, just forgiven!
God Bless!

Stillwaiting,<p>(((((HUGS)))))<p>Hang in there. We understand don't we?
[img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

Thanks BA!
(((((HUGS))))) Too you too!
Hope all is going better for you today.
Look forward to your posts!
God Bless,
M

Hey BA,<p>I've been watching here, paying attention, and sorry for butting in before when I had BR email me.<p>But! Something made you type this:<p> <blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr> Can you all even begin to understand the pain, should something happen to my WH and I find him laying in some hospital on the brink of death or worse yet? <hr></blockquote><p>And I think that was my little message to chime in.<p>[censored] (as my now Ex-husband is known around here), had no medical problems, and was a perfectly healthy & handsome young (30) man. He was working on the final day of a months long project, the final hour, he was making one last roof inspection on the building that his company just built, and stepped on the lift to come down to the ground, spend one last night at the hotel, and come home to the kids (then 2 & 6) and I first thing in the morning.<p>He was 4 1/2 stories up in the air over a hard clay ground, and the lift malfunctioned. It tipped and he was thrown to the ground. The Milwaukee police rang the doorbell at 9:10pm on July 12, 2000. <p>I won't go on with all the details, they are as bad as you could imagine, except he lived. <p>I can imagine the pain, even more I can tell you exactly in great detail what it feels like to have this happen.<p>It's been a tough road for my little family, and [censored] and I are now divorced. But I did take care of him for the past 2 years, and I still am coordinating his care now even though we are divorced.<p>How this relates to your thread. If you feel as if this frightening situation might come to pass, you need to put yourself in the position to be able to handle it.<p>I can tell you from experience that an OW or girlfriend will not want to take on the role of caregiver. The woman who professed to loving my husband so much, soulmates even, had the opportunity to help with his care. I invited her to take part in his recovery. I told her that the nurses in critical care were very busy and that [censored] had no control of his bladder and bowel, and that if she were there when he happened to mess she may need to clean him up. She hung up. She couldn't deal with a little poo poo. So much for soulmates.<p>So it will be up to you if you decide to care for him. It is a life of sacrifice, but also has many rewards.<p>My advice to you would be to simply let him know that you will be there for him if he ever needs you. I know that everyone on the post so far has run the whole letter thing, my opinion on that doesn't really matter.<p>What I would do next would be a simple email saying nothing but "If you ever need me I will be there for you." That's all. No religion, no mention of the past or anything wrong anyone did. Just set the stage for something you think might happen. <p>I think it would be important because if he did not like or appreciate the letter you sent him and it left him with a bitter taste for you it would hopefully make him realize that the only thing you have are good intentions.<p>Yeah, yeah, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and I am on my way there in a handbasket.<p>Elizabeth

Elizabeth,<p>I AM SO SORRY FOR YOUR PAIN! Thank you for sharing this with me!!!!<p>Hiya! Well the "OW" is an LPN (IRONIC). She is the same one that he turned to over this "heart condition" that ended up seperating us. That is what caused the fight back in 4/99 when we seperated. Not the heart thing but HER. I have learned alot about her the last 2 weeks and I feel positive that she is just using him and certainly would RUN if something like this happened.<p>I have already sent him an e-mail that I no longer wanted us with her still in the picture. I also let him know that I have changed the locks on the door and am packing his stuff up for his little brother to store. Nowhere in that e-mail did I mention divorce or that I didn't want us if she was out of the picture. I never asked or told him he had to make a choice between us, simply that I was respecting myself enough to remove myself from the triangle. That I no longer believed in "unconditional love", I was a one man woman and expected a one woman man in return. I told him that under the circumstances with OW still in his life, love was no longer enough. I told him that he was and still is the "Love of my Life", we shared many great memories and I would never forget them. I wished him the happiness that he is searching for and told him that I would be praying that GOD leads him in the years ahead.<p>I still love him, want him and believe he will one day return but for now, I had to set boundries and clearly show him that he could no longer have his cake and eat it too. I told him that he was FREE........<p>I walk in faith that GOD will deal with my WH but I had to get "out of GOD'S way"..........<p>If something should happen, I will be there and lovingly care for my WH but I have already sent my final e-mail. And I told him there would be no further contact. My WH knows that I love him. While he may have taken that e-mail as I was done-done, he knows that it is because he is with the "OW". <p>I let him go so they can "BURN THEMSELVES OUT" without my interference. I just took the thrill rug of sneaking around and yanked it right out from under them. Let them deal with "real life" for awhile now........bet it isn't so rosy in time. I basically did what is talked about in the book "Love is tough"......well I opened the cage door and set him free.......<p>In the meantime, I am praying all the time and letting GOD do his work.........<p>Make sense?<p>(((((HUGS)))))

Good enough! Good luck!<p>E

Because I'm supersticious, and because this thread's title has Satan's name in it and the thread was at "66", I posted just to get it to 67.<p>I know, I'm nuts.<p>Jo

Jo my love,<p>DORK!<p>E

At least I admit being a nut ball ... ya Dorko!

HIL-arious, Resilient! You are too funny...<p>Ya know? I totally embrace and admire the Harley's and all the work they are doing and have done to restore marriages. Where would we be without this site, the concepts, the great books, and wonderful phone counseling that sets so many on the right track with a specific plan for their specific situation! I think very highly of MB concepts AND MBers--individually and collectively.<p>And, since we are all believers here on this thread and sisters/brothers in Christ, to me, that weighs even heavier that we should support each other, esp. on a spiritual level.<p>I can definitely understand how a spouse with a stronger faith level and a 'holier than thou' attitude could disrespectfully judge and chase away their spouse! (I watched my mom do it to her #3 husband and they were divorced not long after!! She tossed out his booze, preached at him, never shut her mouth--SUBMIT???? What was THAT? She definitely showed me how to chase away a husband through moral superiority and preachiness... I think she regrets it today because it all could have been worked out.)<p>BA, I think you should read over all BrambleRose said--and see what applies to you maybe a month from now or even a couple of weeks after this thread has died down. I think the words maybe came down a little tough on a brand new MBer, is all--tough to swallow. You know, like a baby eating spinach for the first time or meat that they can't handle. Gotta wait til they get some teeth so they can really chew it. Some who have been around this site long enough to see certain patterns can sometimes run short of patience and maybe expect newcomers to be at their level of MB experience. Heck, we all know that some newcomers don't even take the time to READ the concepts, just jump right into the forum with thier questions that have already been answered in the Q&A's and other articles, etc...<p>So I guess we all have to learn patience with each other so we can receive from each other without being offended and all...<p>BA, you hang in there. None of this can be easy for you. I have no idea what the last several years must have been like for you, but at least you are finding ways to improve yourself and that's what counts! You can be a better Christian woman and overall person. We ALL can! Myself first and foremost!!!

Hiya Gals & Guys,<p>Just know that I've always been a "quiet Christian". It has always deep within me. My WH in the 11 years he has known me, knew I prayed, read the bible and etc. but I NEVER PREACHED AT HIM or crammed it down his throat. I could probably count on both hands the times in all our years toghether, that we ever blessed a meal. That always bothered me but because my WH was not used to praying like that "openly", I DID NOT disrespect him and force my way or belief on him. I would often see him just sit quietly and waych me read my bible, sometimes when our eyes met, he would just smile and go on with whatever he was doing. Niether one of us were church goer type...<p>Sometimes, I really believe we are in this mess because we didn't include GOD in this home more and WH and I never prayed together. I remember if we were at someone else's home and "they" blessed a meal, my WH would just close eyes and bow his head. I never openly heard him pray, just a couple times say "AMEN". "My relationship with my heavenly father has deepened since this nightmare began".....<p>As I said that letter was the first and only one I've ever sent like that to WH.

You may admit to being a dork Jo, but I <p>EMBRACE my dorkhood.<p>E

Hey,<p>How about "limboland"?????? I tend to refer to this as that...........(Funny but not funny, huh)? [img]images/icons/tongue.gif" border="0[/img]