Formerly Known AS
AllTheGoodNamesRTakn<p>[ June 07, 2002: Message edited by: Loves Prisoner ]</p>

No offense but I don't care for the new name. You don't want to be a prisoner to your sorrow do you? So why take on that burden in your name? How about<p>"headn4success"
"lookn2tomorrow"
"need2scream"
"bugonnawindshield"
"thissux"<p>I dunno...anything that doesn't portray you as permanently afflicted. Ya know??

I agree. Your new name sounds like such an affirmation of negativity. <p>I loved your old name.<p>Things must be really tough now. Otherwise you wouldn't have chosen such a name. I've been in some really bad places in my lifetime. <p>I don't know that my pain will ever dissipate totally. Right now I'm going through a summer child care disaster. For the fourth time this summer, I have to get a new plan. So, on my way home tonight, I stopped in choice number 4 or 5. Sat on a table and talked with the asst. dir. and cried. Felt so like a fool. And, seven years after he left, the mess x caused is still there. <p>But, you know what? <p>Every day the sun comes up. The Son still lives in my heart. And it will be ok. But I still have to breathe, to eat, to sleep, to work (a job was not in the contract 8 years ago, though), and to take care of my children.<p>Some wallowing is allowed. But to lay down and embrace the pain indefinitely only magnifies the pain. <p>I still vote for Allthegoodnamesare taken.

Is this somewhat better.????????<p>this has some positive along with the negative.......
And quite possibly alot of BS's ( and even some WS's) might feel this way...... .....as Though they would do anything for the love. to not walk away from. to take no matter how hard or how tired you may be. as if your trapped in the love of a WS and you heart cannot shake the loveor maybe youre a WS and all you want to do is try your hardest to make your love for eachother right again?.or the BS. who are prisoners fight for the WS to LOVE only YOU!!!! not the OP not the feedom from Commitment and to have the heart to love only YOU and YOUR SOUL and have the heart to forgive?!......without reason or design?<p>that is what this names means to me<p>hmmmmm I got pretty heavy on the meaning of my newest name which will be the one I will forever KEEP...

If you want to know the truth...that attitude is very much what helped me to see the light about my OM and the fantasy that we wove together. As romantic and tragic as everything you wrote sounds (as did my OM's words of "I'll always love you and only you" and "you'll always be my true love" etc etc) it's not really based on reality. When the pursuit of love from another comes at a great cost to your self esteem, mental and/or physical health or your quality of life (or desire to actually LIVE it, not just exist) then I would categorize the continued pursuit of that love unhealthy...possibly obsessive in some cases.<p>You aren't a prisoner to love any more than my OM is tragically bound to love me and only me for the rest of his days, pining away because his only love chose to stay in her marriage. Obviously he can choose that life, but WHY??? It's not romantic...it's pathetic. I wouldn't feel honored, I would fear his mental health. You are a prisoner only if you choose to be.<p>I understand passion and idealism...I like romantic notions just as much as anyone...but at some point we need to be realistic...at some point we need to grow up. I read a post that said it perfectly "We've been duped by Disney". I agree completely. I grew up with the Disney notion of love. It's a farce.<p>If you don't like your life, do something to change it. I know you can. I understand your depression and your dilemma, but I also know you have the power to do something about it. I was a lonely stay at home mom. Looking back I know I put more effort into complaining about it than in to actually changing that situation.<p>Personally, I liked your old name better. Take care, I hope you get to feeling more chipper soon.

im gonna interject my .02 cents here.......<p>it just a name. when i found marriage builders i was so distraught i chose my 6 yr old sons name. he now wants to know why his name is always on the computer??? i will have to change it soon-he is learning to read incredibly fast. its just a name-we chose them for all different reasons-does it really matter??

I am with Nikko here. It is just a name and it should reflect how you are feeling. Their is nothing wrong with any of the name's you have chosen. <p>IMHO:
I am more concerned about why you changed your name the second you received some negative posts. I think you need to do quite a bit of work on yourself. Gain strength about who you are regardless of what others may say about you. It is your name and you should have stuck with whatever you decided to be. You will never be able to please everyone. Be strong.<p>A little about love. I guess I am a helpless romantic myself. I believe that their is true love out there. I believe that we have the ability to Love like God love's us. After all, we are made in his image. If we can love like God, certainly we can love unconditionally. I think this kind of love makes my marriage much more passionate. The feelings we have for our WS's will be up and down our entire life's. It is the true love that will keep a mariage together. Disney is exactly correct!! If everyone believe in the Disney Love their would be very few divorces instead of this 50% stuff. The love bank is a great way to help someone understand why their are so many divorces, but it does not excuse a divorce just because our EN's are not being met.

Gosh LP, lucky you didn't pick TieMeUpTieMeDown or they'd really be onta ya!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img] <p>Whatever name you chose is fine by me mate, its your bloody name after all! Why it would provoke such an angry response is interesting, it obviously pushes some buttons...<p>I think you're new name sounds like a movie. I liked your old name too. Thanks for letting us know.

Why is it that every time someone has an opinion that doesn't agree with everyone else they're all of a sudden "angry".<p>I've gotten that title pinned on me several times this week. CRIMINY I just had an opinion!!! It's MY OPINION...for the above stated reasons, not due to ANGER...that giving yourself a "woe is me" title is not condusive to POSITIVE FEELINGS. OBVIOSLY it just a fricken name...but I'm one for POSITIVE vibes, not negative. I was hoping she'd decide to choose herself worthy of something more dignified than "prisoner". But OBVIOUSLY that's her choice.<p> [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img]

Dreamland...Disney does not deal with reality. It does not teach us about anything BUT romantic love. It teaches us that our partner will perfectly meet our needs and love us unconditionally. And if they don't they become the bad guy and the white knight will surely be along soon to rescue us from our misery. It's garbage. I used to love watching hopelessly romantic movies...I've lost that dreaminess I guess. I'm just not going to let Disney-kind-of-love expectations cause me to lose the REAL LOVE I have for my H just because he doesn't swoop in like a white knight or adore my each and every move.<p>Romance is fine...it just HAS to be tempered with reality. I didn't have those "reality" skills to counteract the fantasy in my head...now I do. I grew up with Disney being my ONLY example of "healthy" relations between adults...and unfortunatly I found out the hard way how lacking that example really was.

hope4future,<p>You are right about the mix of the Disney love and reality. You described a healthy love. That is why I call myself dreamland. I too expected love to be like the way Disney made it. Love would like Disney only if we all were perfect. I think we all should strive for the Disney love for others but only expect the mix of Disney and love bank from our spouses. The love bank keeps us on our toes about each other's feelings.
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Love's Prisoner,<p>Sorry about steeling some of your air time here. I hope you start feeling better soon. I am glad you are posting on this forum.

Healthy mixture...sounds perfect!<p>LovesPrisoner...ditto Dreamland. Sorry for taking up your posting space. I do hope you start feeling better. Someone mentioned on your other post about the stay at home mom site...a good friend of mine was very active there and it did her a world of good. Since you'd just be interacting with other mommies I don't see how your husband could think it would turn you in to a lesbian or be some way to meet a guy. <p>Sometimes it's how it's presented to them. "Honey, I know you're concerned about me meeting someone over the internet, so I've found a site that's geared towards other women just like me! We talk about our kids and about ourselves and share tips on the house and cooking and on how to be better wives and feel better about ourselves! I just wanted to let you know I intend on checking it out and to assure you that I won't meet up with anyone who might try to date me (women or men)" It's worth a shot anyway?

I agree that it is just a name.<p>But when I logged on today, and first saw a title about an affair with a CONVICT, and then saw Loves Prisoner, I thought the two were related!<p>How about Love's Prisoner?

I am not exactly satified with this name either...... I am looking for something unique and origional. If anyone has any suggestions Lay em up here.
thanx

How about Spongebob?<p>Or WonderWoman?<p>I don't think names need to refect some philosophy -- just make it fun. Your favorite movie character? Your favorite color? Your pets name?

here comes my .02 cents again. [img]images/icons/grin.gif" border="0[/img] <p>i think it ought to be tawanda-from the movie fried green tomatoes. if you never saw it-rent it and have a great time!!!!!! [img]images/icons/wink.gif" border="0[/img]

How about Love's Grand or Lovetoloveyababy?

(not angry) I had the same reaction as Peppermint, wondering if the convict was a spouse or a OP...<p>I have a web link for a naming wizard--it creates unusual names. It isn't working at the moment, but you could do a search. Helpful, huh [img]images/icons/rolleyes.gif" border="0[/img] .<p>One other piece of advice, avoid names with sad, lonely, hurt, patient, confused along with pairing them with and, again or very. Us oldtimers--er, I [img]images/icons/smile.gif" border="0[/img] --can't remember who is who. ( you don't have to follow my advice of course!) Your other name was distinctive.

and so it remains AllDaGoodNamzRTakn

Yay! I really like that name, it shows you've got a sense of humour, and God knows we need it in the situations we find ourselves. <p>Your name gave me a laugh the first time I saw it, so thank you.<p>SH