I really need to talk to one of you. Is it possible we can talk on phone? You both have posted to my posts. I just really need to talk and I need your advice.<p>To refresh you, My Wh moved out 4/99 after a big fight where I found out that he had a medical heart condition, had hid it from me and gone thru a nurse at work. This was the same woman that rumors were circulating about at our worksite.<p>5/99 I found out where WH apt. was and her van was there. I gave up my rank and transfered back to worksite closer to home.<p>WH and I continued to have contact all along. 2000 until 4/14/02 things were going pretty good (I thought) with WH coming home, calling, e-mailing and as of Christmas 2001, WH started telling me that he loved me, missed me, and only reason we were still living apart was because of his job. He had told me this prior as well (about job being reason we were still apart). <p>WH went back to college, changed careers, had left former worksite August 2000 (Resigned on my birthday). Began a new job in November 2000 and told me Christmas 2000 that he just had to close his apt. down and get away from there. WH closed apt. 3/31/01.I suggested he stay in city with his cousin which he did for awhile because I called him there at his cousins. Then WH told me that he was staying in company apt. and only company people could stay there. I never saw it and he never gave me the address. He supposedly traveled with this company allot. He would call me reguarly and came home. We lived about 150 miles one way from each other.<p>WH did not get me anything or accept my gifts Christmas of 99. Christmas of 2000 & 2001 he bought me gifts and accepted mine. October 2001, WH popped home to suprise me (I was asleep and all of a sudden his body just landed full length on mine) and told me that he was sorry about 2 years ago (On that day 2 years ago, I had my wedding rings delivered to him at her back door, after talking to him on the phone and sensing he was lying to me). (I found out where she lived and drove 110 miles from our home to her house and there was our truck). I wanted him to know that I saw with my own eyes where he was. My wedding rings were my calling card to him. This is what he was apologizing to me about last October 2001. My WH is not a communicator, so I took it as his way of telling me it was over and he was sorry (I thought anyway). I didn't ask any questions. He also told me that he didn't want me to think that sex was only reason that he came home but never stated other reasons that he came over.<p>Last christmas he was home and it was great. He went nuts over suit I bought him and he seemed happy. All affectionate and all (WH had been this way more and more over last 2 years). WH told me that he was going to be really busy through spring, maybe into summer because of company cut backs and didn't know when he would make it home again.<p>On our 5th anniversary (2/14/02), he called chippery with an "Happy Valentine's Day & Happy Anniversary"......I didn't forget and I love you. He was suppose to come home and couldn't make it but "promised" that he would be home. He left "I love you's on my cell, in e-mails and would say it to me on the phone". I HAVE NOT seen him since Christmas 2001. We had never gone more than 4 weeks prior.<p>I really believed she was out of the picture and we were making steady progress..........<p>WHAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!<p>4/13/02, I get an e-mail from reliable sources that my WH had picked her (same OW) up over at former worksite 3/23/02, driving her van and she told these sources that his (our) truck had broke down and she was taking him back to the city. WH had told me himself that his truck was giving him problems and he needed to think about getting another one.<p>4/14/02 WH called me after I left some pretty hysterical messages on his cell and apt. machines. I threatened divorce, including dragging her right into the middle of it if he let it go that far. (NO I HAD NOT FOUND MB YET) and I realize that I LB'sted bad, ok? <p>When my WH called on morning of the 14th, I was dropping one of my co-workers off as he needed a ride home and it was on my way. I asked Jeff to answer my cell because I was turning and crossing traffic. My WH immediately copped an attitude and wanted to know who answered my cell. I answered him honestly as I had nothing to hide. Then he began screaming at me that he wasn't answering any of my d**n questions and that he was sick of me going off on him everytime i heard something from every Tom, [censored] and Harry. (Anotherwords, he denied, blew it off as rumors and laid blame back in my lap). He also said that he wasn't even going to tolerate my leaving messages like that on his company phones as they monitored his calls. (Hmmmmm, he didn't worry about that whenever he wanted to talk sexy to/with me).<p>4/22/02, I called WH and he had lost his job. He was angry, still refused to address about his contact with OW and said that he didn't feel like talking. I asked him what he was going to do and he said: "Look, just let me work things out, OK"? I told him "OK", that I loved him and was here if he needed me and he answered "OK".<p>4/26/02, WH calls me at 8am and screams at me how he is tired of everyone's nose stuck in his business and he isn't telling me where he is at. I asked him: "Not even your wife" and he answers: "NO, not even you. He screams that he has 2 job interviews and he didn't need this sh*t. I quietly hung up.<p>I have e-mailed (with no response). First ones were pretty irrate, then they calmed down. I told him that I would not be in a triangle and was removing myself. I sent him the Plan B letter, have told him that I love him, want him and know that we can rebuild our marriage better than anything we can imagine but not until he chooses to break all contact with her "OW".<p>To this day, nothing from him. He hasn't filed or said anything about divorce (I DON'T WANT ONE EITHER!!!!!) I changed the locks on the doors and planned on packing the rest of his stuff up here and having his little brother come get it and store it for him. WH little brother has tried to contact WH and WH has not contacted his little brother. So his stuff is still here and unpacked. WH mail is still coming here as well.<p>I have found allot more out that i don't want to post on here and really want to talk in person (phone) to one of you and get your advice.<p>MY WH is 40, I'm 40 and OW is 49. My WH when we were together mainly talked about his work and his goals. Very little about OW, never about anything concerning the realtionship.<p>I do not know what needs he continued coming to me for but he was always gentle, intimate and I told him i was proud of him and his career change, new job and etc. I told him that I loved him and believed in him. I had built the trust back in him and told him that I trusted him. I gave him all of my attention when we were together and he seemed to soak up my touch, kisses and etc. like a sponge.<p>I have found out allot in last 3 weeks and need ADVICE!!!!!!<p>BA<p>[ June 08, 2002: Message edited by: BetrayedAgain ]</p>
