Just a brief of my situation.<p>WH moved out 4/99 and OW got divorced 5/99. WH and I have had continued contact until 4/02, when I was informed from sources OW was still in picture. WH had led me to believe she was gone from our lives. Things had been getting better each time we were together for the last 1 1/2-2 years (yes we continued marital relations), called, e-mailed and etc. WH had even since this past christmas started telling me he loved, missed me and his job was only reason we were still living apart.<p> I exploded (hadn't found MB yet), confronted WH (he said he was tired of me going off on him everytime I heard something from every Tom, [censored] and Harry). Babble-talk, he basically denied and tried to place blame back onto me for confronting him I guess.<p> 4/22/02 WH lost his job, he was angry and didn't want to talk. I ended conversation with I love you and I'm here if you need me and he answered "OK". I asked WH what he was going to do and he resonded: "Look, just let me work this out, "OK"? (Don't know if that meant that job or everything in general?)<p>4/26/02 WH calls me and screams that he is tired of everyone's f***ing nose in his business and he's not telling me where he is and he has 2 job interviews and doesn't have time for this s**t! I asked him: "Your not even going to tell your wife where you are"? He answer's: "NO, not even you". NO CONTACT from him since and I have stopped everything to reach him.<p>He never responded to my threat of divorce (I know stupid). Niether one of us has filed and I'm not going to. I love him heart, body and soul.<p>My questions:<p>1). Did you cut your BS dead? <p>2). Why and for how long? <p>3). What motivated you to contact them again?<p>4). Is it true that you thought of your spouse when with "OP"?<p>I am basically in Plan B. Taking care of me and he's got to work this out on his own I know. I believe this affair will burn out. Just wondering and trying to learn through other's experiences on here! THANK FOR YOU INPUT!!!!<p>[ June 09, 2002: Message edited by: BetrayedAgain ]</p>

I ran into this with my H, and later found out that his reasoning for wanting to get away from it all was because the OW was on his back to D me, and even though I never point out asked him to leave her, he still felt like I was pressuring him into leaving her. He felt like he was being pulling in 2 different directions and noone seemed to care about what he really wanted.<p>You said it had been going on 1 1/2 to 2 years, imagine what he would be feeling. He lost his job, he had been torn between 2 people he loved for a long time, and he probally just felt like this was his time to escape. <p>My suggestion, take this saying to heart, let go and let God. Give him time to recover, give him time to try to find out what he is trying to find out. Time is the hardest thing to give, because you never know how much to give, but he probally just needs some space right now to get it all out of his mind. <p>I know it's hard, I'm sure you wonder if he is with the OW, chances are he is not if you haven't heard nothing about D, or anything at all for that matter. The OW seem to have this power over our H's to make them say what ever they want them to say.<p>Take this time to truly find you, and center yourself on you and do the things you may have always wanted to do just for you. He is, so why shouldn't you?<p>If he doesn't have this time and if he was to come back to you now, he wouldn't be happy. Let him find himself again, I could only imagine it a terrible feeling, I know I was there at one time before my H and I got married.<p>I am at that point now, letting go and letting God take care of things. My H needs to heal from the guilt he feels towards me, and the loss of a good friend. I don't want him back right now (not to say that I don't want him back, just not right now), he wouldn't be happy, unless he comes to me and is ready to really be with me on his own will. I've got to give him that time and space, it's the only true way he can get himself centered.

BA,
i have a few questions for ya.<p>Do all your posts have that angry smilie icon? I'm concerned about your anger about something that has gone on for so long. You hold some keys to letting some of that anger go, including Plan B, prayer, forgiveness, taking care of yourself and your kids, etc. All these things are difficult, but within your power, and the only things you have control over. Holding on to anger, is letting something very powerful and evil keep control of you.<p>Are you in Plan B? Have you written a PLan B letter and given it to your husband? If not, then you are just crossing your arms and pouting that he hasn't contacted YOU. If you haven't given him a letter, then I suggest you write one, let us help you review and refine it, and send it. He needs to hear and read from your heart - how much you love him, and why you are not making efforts to contact him. This takes control of your OWN life, instead of letting him do it.<p>If you truly want opinions from FWS's, I suggest you start a new thread, with a non-screaming subject title, and word your question as an inquiring mind wants to know - "Poll" - kind of thing. Your title and message seem kind of attacking. <p>your questions are valid. Why are you asking? Do you really want information? Why do you think it will help you understand your WH? Will the answers help you modify your Plan A or Plan B?<p>I hope you understand the intent of my questions. I'm trying to understand where you are coming from. I know you are in a very difficult situation, and we want to support you any way we can.

Hiya all,<p>I am just searcing for idea's as to why WH may have done this. Not angry. I am building my relationship with GOD and each day gets a little better. I sorta liked the crunchy face.<p>Not looking to attack anyone here, just wondering if Wh was doing what other's have done. This OW has been in picture since 4/99. I don't know where he is, but I do know he has cut me dead and in contact with her.<p>Can't say more than that.<p>Thanks for your responses. Gotta get my tail ready for work.